A little background, my husband (M35) and I (F29) have been together since I was 20. When we first met we had sex like crazy! I mean like every single chance we got. It was a fresh relationship and we were young. Nothing uncommon about that. Soon after we started seeing each other I got pregnant (shocking huh?) and as any love life usually goes, sex kind of died off. We still had sex often, but no where near like we were. We have always expressed to each other how important sex is in a relationship.
Jumping ahead a few years after giving birth, I started having some issues down there. Sex was painful, my libido became non existent, periods became extremely heavy, cramps were debilitating, I gained a ton of weight, and so on. I was put on medicine after medicine which went on forever. Then in 2019 I ended up getting diagnosed with PCOS, I was keeping fibroids in my uterus, and had an overgrowth of endometrial tissue. All of this ended up killing our sex life which was no fault of either of us. We were having sex maybe once or twice every several months. I did blow him some here and there, but I just didn’t feel like being touched much. My husband was actually quite understanding and supportive.
Early this year I had to have a partial hysterectomy to manage all my symptoms from the above problems I was having. While recovering my husband and I talked about our sex life and how we couldn’t wait to have amazing sex again and get back to being like we were. He always talked about how he missed my body and how I felt. He expressed how excited he was to have his woman back. He really got me worked up. The first time we had sex after my surgery I was in disbelief of how damn good it felt! I forgot what pain free sex felt like. We were back to having sex 3+ times a week! I could do it daily if he wanted to. My libido now is the highest it’s ever been.
More recently my husband will not initiate sex anymore. I always have to and most of the time he’s not in the mood or he just wants me to suck him off and be done. We’re back to having barley any sex and when we do it’s usually just a quickie. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he will not give me any reason as to why he won’t sleep with me as much. I’ve lost weight, I’m healthier than I was, and I feel great! I love having sex with him and I don’t understand what is happening all of the sudden. If he would just communicate with me I wouldn’t be so upset about it. I want to give him the support he gave me. I even have tried to get him to see a doctor thinking maybe he’s got something medical going on. I just don’t want our relationship to fall apart because of sex. It’s important to me and I like doing it. What is going on? Is he getting tired of sex with me? How do we compromise? Am I being unreasonable?
TL;DR- My husband will barley have sex with me and I’m getting sick of it. He will not give me a reason as to why either.
Sorry for the long read. I’m just really frustrated with this.
3 comments
I can imagine that life catches up with you.
He’s getting older and has less testosterone than a 20-year-old.
And you have unfortunately gained weight as you write.
It will be a steep road but it is possible.
My recommendation:
1st priority is that you feel not only comfortable but hot and fit in your body.
train 4 times a week for 1h.
He well look at you again!
And 2. make it special, create a place in the house or somewhere else where only you spend time together.
Years ago my testosterone crashed due a bad reaction to a medicine. That crashed my libido and I didn’t know it. Once I realized it I got tested and got it fixed. Now I’m back to my usual horny goat self. 😜
Have him get his hormones tested. It’s a simple blood test.
Good luck!
Marriage counseling! Fixed our nearly 20 year dead bedroom!!