So at the end of July I met a guy and we hit it off very quickly. I was open to it being casual (as we had sex straight away and barely knew each other) but I definitely had a very good time with him. However, we only met a few times because he’s been in and out of the country due to holidays (met him hanging out the first time, then the week after I met him again and we had sex…then he left for almost two weeks…after that I him again and had sex/spent a couple days together, then the two weeks after that we met twice but only for a few hours and with friends…then he left again and he’s still away until the end of the month…im currently on holiday too now, but it’s a solo trip). We couldn’t even have a chat in person about things before he left the second time, but he had sent me some texts trying to explain things. He had said that he values me, enjoys spending time with me, and he’d be happy to continue seeing me, but can’t offer a committed relationship (plus another BIG thing that he reaaaallly should’ve told me out the gate, but i THINK it’s unrelated to him being emotionally unavailable in terms of a romantic relationship). I said ok cool as first I’d like to get to know him at least. Personally I’d like a friends with benefits situation, but the friends part needs to be solidified. That’s not much to ask, or is it??? Like come on…I was extremely kind and polite with my response, I blabbered a bit also, but Im sure that I didn’t say anything wrong or inappropriate. I also did clarify that I don’t do f*CK buddies as i don’t want to be used for my body (I didn’t say it like this, I just said that I’d prefer to be friends without the sex part, if it made things easier and prevented problems down the line).
We had a little of back and forth and I told him that I didn’t expect him to message me whilst he was away, but damn since the end of August he’s not even reacted to any of my Instagram stories…am I being ghosted??? Or what the hell??? now I feel like an idiot for investing my time in him thinking that he appreciates me as a human being (like he straight up said…ugh) and I feel like I’ve been lied to…and it’s not like I’m upset, I’m just disappointed because I’m so much better than this, and him.
Soon I’ll see him again as we have mutual friends. I have no idea whether he’ll actually contact me prior or not, but lets assume he doesn’t contact me and when he sees me he says hello like i’m an acquaintance and nothing was even said…do I tell him off? Im not sure if I’ll be able to control myself, he owes me an apology but I also don’t want to cause a scene and have people be weirded out by it. I think it’d be best if I just ignore him, almost as if he’s invisible to me, and focus on my actual friends. There’s a guy I have a little thing with now (it’s not that deep…we only kissed and sexted and we’re just friendly), and they know each other…so I may just rub it off his face if I get the chance lol.
1 comment
You want more, he doesn’t. He shouldn’t had said the compliments to simply get in your pants, that bullshit needs to stop, but you both agreed to being FWB. It doesn’t mean you literally become buddy buddy but that is a bonus.
All you can do is accept what’s happened and not cause drama for the sake of your mutual friends. If he messages you again, either hook up or set your boundaries and take it from there. Keep things amicable.
>I may just rub it off his face if I get the chance lol
Unless he did something serious, I wouldn’t bother. It’ll only make you look like the child in this situation.