So I always had trouble with approaching and talking to women in general in the public and for the past couple of weeks I been going out a lot more than I used to and avoid staying at home for too long. I been doing small talk with people regardless of gender to get good at being comfortable talking with strangers.
So today I was at the park and this beautiful woman was looking at the environment and she looked surprised to see the nature, I was closed by and she saw me and smiled, I approached (I must say my heart was pounding I was so anxious) but for my surprise the conversation went pretty smooth and nice she also was new in the city.
But when we finished talking I didn’t asked for her number and she left and we went our different ways and she told me good night. I felt like a total idiot for not taking that extra step, went home thinking about it the whole commute. I’m so disappointed how I fumbled that so badly. How do you pick yourself up in a situation like this?
3 comments
What’s there to pick yourself up from? That’s a good ending.
Sure, maybe she would have agreed. Imagine how horrible it would have felt if she didn’t. This is a good, wholesome memory.
Maybe that’s a good thing!
When it comes to asking women for their number, you should seek out contexts where you and she will have time to get to know each other a bit better first.
Otherwise you’ll be asking women out and 1/3 of their thoughts will be about wondering if you’re dangerous, and if your anxiety shows itself it could confirm some of their fears. Whereas, if they already know you at least somewhat, they’ll trust you much more and be far more comfortable. And you’ll be less anxious and stressed, too.
There are times when a woman wants you to ask for her contact info, but there are also times when it’s nice to have a connection with a guy yet not feel like he’s immediately maneuvering to get into bed with you.
I think you did very well. For me, positive interactions like that can make my whole day, even if I’ll never see that person again !
I’m sure she felt the same way. And hey.. if you happen to see her again ?
That’s the perfect opportunity to chat her up and seize the moment, and that time around you won’t be as much of a stranger to her, so the probability of success just went up.
(And even if you ever get rejected when asking for a woman’s number, remember that it’s rarely personal. It’s just about comfort levels, privacy and safety)
In the meantime, I read in your other comments that you’re going to put more effort into putting yourself out there, and I think based on that, this interaction has kind of served its meaning; it built your confidence and gave you security in yourself.
This is a bit corny but I keep thinking about the things I tell myself when I’m getting tilted and the DEFEAT screen stares me in the face.
“It wasn’t wasted time, I’m building experience and getting better even if I don’t win every game”
“Based on the percentages of how much I could’ve influenced this match, I did my best and the rest was out of my control. Doesn’t mean I performed poorly”
And such. It’s all about the mindset.