Me (26yo F) and my fiancé (24yo M) are having trouble communicating when it comes to what are the most important things when looking for a new job.
My fiancé just was let go from his family company because he was looking at other opportunities that might help support our family (me and him rn but kids in a few years) better than hes been able to provide recently. This is such a tough time because not only did he loose his job, he lost a piece of his relationship he has with his dad and I know he’s feeling that loss.
He is very resourceful and clever in networking and finding what he would be great with. One of my main concerns is health insurance. He has not had health insurance for the past 6 years working at his family company. He has a few medical conditions we need to iron out and seek medical guidance/help. To him… Insurence is an after thought. (Since he’s lived without it for all this time and he thinks hea been fine…) big picture he’s okay.. he’s alive. But he has things that are going on that only can be helped by a doctor/professional in general. I am trying to stress to him how important insurance is but every time i bring it up, it falls on deaf ears. His main concern is being happy.
I want him to be happy too! But happiness can also coincide with health insurance and a great paycheck to support your family. I also work, full time and make an honest living. I can take care of myself. I have insurance, my own apartment, my own dog.. im fine. I don’t need him to support me financially or insurance wise. I want him to be able to fully take care of himself and know what’s important.
Us being together is the most important. If his health goes unchecked he could live a very short life. He has had family history of dying young because they didn’t take care of themselves. I don’t want that for him and I don’t want that for us.
Hes been interviewing for a few weeks now and os farther down the interview process with two different (very different) companies. One, has benefits and insurance and a great paycheck; the other is a gamble since its a new company and no benefits.
I am supporting him no matter what. Im just worried. We have been talking about buying a house next year and we are also getting married next year. The only way we can do either is if we can pay for it ourselves. We can’t depend on anyone.
I am thinking very realistic about our situation and he is thinking very idealistically just hoping everything will work out…
I can’t sit by and wait for life to happen. I take life by the antlers and tell life who’s boss.. lol
How do I explain this to him so he can see the big picture? When i was looking for a job, i was always thinking.. okay what job will allow me to prioritize my life and what checks all my boxes and what allows me to be able to be independent and take care of myself…
TL;DR! My (26yoF) fiancé (24yoM) is looking for a job to help build a future for us together but hes not seeing the big picture/minimizing very important aspects of that picture (Insurence/participating in financially supporting our family. How can I communicate to him to help him understand?
1 comment
Are you sure you are not biting off more than you can chew? House, marriage and family down the road is a lot of stress in a short amount of time. You may also have his health issues and yes you both should have health insurance with the latest legislation he should have already had healthcare insurance based on income even working for a family company. You can talk with him about these issues but for the most part he has to work through this himself.