My bf and I have been together for almost a year. He recently started a new job, and since starting his job I’ve noticed that he’s had more trouble staying hard after fingering me.
The most recent time this happened I could really tell something was on his mind, so I asked him. He’s always really liked getting his neck kissed, it drives him crazy. But now that he has this job, he’s worried about hickeys. He said that while I was kissing his neck he started thinking about hickeys and then getting into this whole thought loop and obviously was no longer feeling it. I’ve never given him a hickey before (he doesn’t bruise easily and I’m not going that hard on his neck) and I reminded him of this.
After talking we ended up actually having sex, which was great, but now I want to know if there’s anything I can do it calm his mind more. I could just not kiss his neck, but he liked it before and I feel like I’m not giving him as much as he’s giving me. Anyone go thru a similar thing? What helped?
5 comments
You could maybe try kissing his chest and stomach where no one will see the hickeys. Or just ask him what other things he might like you to do and try those.
Having my neck kissed drives me crazy, also. I absolutely love it. I get so hard so fast, it’s like magic. Seems like your talk with him has helped. I would keep on kissing his neck. And if he seems to get in his head, then talk to him and remind him you are being very careful so he won;t get any hickeys. I wouldn’t give up on something he really likes.
Either time will make it where is not worried so much about the job or he needs to find another job. That type of worry in the long term is not good for him.
Neck kissing and pleasing you isn’t going to cut it, you need to please him so oral and hand action. Does just looking at your partner always get you soaking wet? Unlikely, the same applies for men.
Sounds like boy is dealing with stress and anxiety. Personally I would try to get more present or tantric, calming him down first may help