So a month ago I met this guy on a dating app. He’s the first person I actually truly like since my last relationship, and he has SOO many things I am looking for in a guy, BUT he broke it off with his ex like two months ago. He’s still clearly grieving, talks about his ex and has told me he’s still healing. He always talk about valuing my friendship and I was fine with it, because even tho I like him, I do not think dating him is an option atm because he’s clearly not emotionally available.
Anyways, we had a huge connection from the start. The first week we met we hung out three consecutive days, then we kinda slowed down but feelings have always been pretty strong. I’m super attracted to him and there was this sexual tension I was trying to repress. He was too, but since he constantly told me how much he valued our friendship, I was at peace with the situation.
A few days ago I went to his house and we ended up having sex. He initiated it. I was doubting it bc I was scared it would change the dynamic, but ended up saying fuck it. It was clumsy but after it he told me he “saw me as a friend and didn’t want to lose the friendship”. Right before sex he told me he was flirting and saying he felt very attracted to me so…mixed signals. I told him if we’re gonna be friends this can’t keep happening. Now we keep sending each other memes but not really talk (which has been our overall dynamic so that hasn’t changed).
What I don’t know is how to proceed. Tbh what I want is to keep being friends and I was kinda hoping in the future we could try it out but now I’m scared it’s doomed bc of what happened. I don’t want to be his rebound and I don’t want it to be a relationship. I care about him and he told me he did too.
How should I approach this situation ? Is getting away from him the only choice?
TL;DR: i hooked up with a guy that I was supposed to be only friends with. We have a really good connection so I don’t wanna lose it but I’ve never been in this situation before so I need advice.
3 comments
its time for the uncomfortable talk about “hey that was fun but for the time being lets be friends, if something happens later on after we are both ready for more we can readdress it then, but for now, that was a fun night between friends.”
He used you as a rebound 🤷🏻♀️ if he actually cared about you as a friend he would ease your emotional pain by having a talk with you. He’s just bread-crumbing you now for future possibilities or more sex and ofc he’ll say he “values” you. All to get laid.
Two people that are attracted to each other arnt friends they are flirts. Friends dont want to fuck each other. Odds are he got what he wanted and now…well not sure without knowing the guy, but if he wanted more youd know by now. People who are interested in someone dont just send memes. They cant wait to see them again.
This one will probably not end the way you want it. At this point your probably nust torturing yourself.