I feel like that question induces nervousness and anxiety for me because most of the times the answer is just ‘the usual, same old life’

32 comments

  1. Kind of sounds like you are ashamed of how you live your life if you don’t want to talk about it

  2. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you NEVER have to answer the question as asked, you can basically talk about anything. That’s usually the intent behind such seemingly probing questions anyway. It might also be that they are excited to share something about _their_ life.

  3. “Not much. How have you been?” is a decent reply as long as you look interested when asking about the other person. Many people love talking about themselves anyway. If you need nonverbal advice, let me know.

  5. I tell them what’s new. “I’m having a baby” or “I went to a football game” or “I bought my cat a toy”

  7. I think the idea is to give any kind of news in your life at all. I don’t know how the average person does it, but every few days I update a running list of “news to tell people” so I have something in the chamber whenever it’s needed.

    You can generate some ideas by taking events that haven’t happened in a year or more, and including how you feel about it.

    EG “water heater broke but we fixed it” can become “the last few weeks I’ve been forced to take cold showers because our water heater broke. So I have new opinions on the effectiveness of cold showers lol”.

    Or “watched atla again” becomes “I’ve been rewatching one of my favorite shows. This year I’ve been preferring rewatches more than new stuff for some reason. How about you?”

    But also nothing bad seems to happen when I say “just vibing, no time for adventure recently. How about you”

  8. Redirect. Most people don’t give a rats ass about what’s new in your life. They only asked because they want to tell you what’s new in their life.

    I always respond with their words, “Not much. What’s new in your life?” ~85% of the time they launch into a story. Don’t fool yourself, people aren’t interested in you, only themselves.

  10. It’s just an opener. The person asking the question may be at just as much of a loss as to how to start a conversation. We’re all just seeking communication and connection no matter what “side” of the conversation we’re on. There’s no “stock” answer. Just be happy someone wants to connect with you and say whatever you want.

  12. Constantly be changing and improving. Then you always have something new to talk about. Live every day with purpose

  14. “Enjoying life, how about yourself?” or something to that effect and you’re already done with it. The other person is then forced to come up with some shit on their own 😀
    For real though, ask yourself what’s actually bothering you – not knowing which words to respond to that or whether you find your own life boring?

  15. “Oh, you know” rising intonation. I almost always get a laugh and people take what they want from that answer.

  20. It an opening conversation starter, to get things going. If it the same old, just say that and include what same about it. To get thing going.

  22. My answer is based on virtual conversation. So Actually, if you are talking with “that” person since a long time, it doesn’t really matter how you answer to it. It could be anything like “nothing much, what about you?” “Ah everyday is same for me haha” and such. It is nore important for you to understand that you shouldn’t feel pressured within to answer in a interesting way.

  24. Very recently I’ve made some significant improvements in my social skills and I used to hate this question. Since I’ve made changes, I realised that this question is an opportunity to offer whichever answer suits you – promotion at work, new car, new hobby, decent achievement of any kind, a crazy story that happened to you recently.

    And sometimes it feels scary to just offer this information but I’ve realised the only reason this type of conversation will go to shit is if the person asking “what’s new with you” doesn’t know how to respond to you. If they ask what’s new with you, you might say “works been good but we had an exciting day last week when the fire alarms went off for no reason and we had to spend a good few hours outside waiting for the building to be checked before we could return to work”. The person who doesn’t know how to have a conversation might say “oh my god, that’s crazy”. The person who can have a conversation might say “nice, got out of work for a few hours haha. Did they end up finding any reason why the fire alarms went off?”

    It can be very scary to offer any kind of information about yourself during a conversation but if the other person doesn’t respond to you by asking questions or relating to you at all, they’re either not a nice person (and I would then hesitate to speak to them again if this is an ongoing thing) or they don’t know how to hold a conversation and it’s a good opportunity for you to lead the conversation and you start asking the questions and let them talk

  29. Ugh… I hate that question, makes me feel pressured to do something new so that I have an answer, but the new thing is always dumb to the inquiring asker. So I usually say “same ol…working, paying bills, you know, the usual”

  31. I tell them about my pet birds because my birds are always creating new forms of chaos each minute of their life.

  32. I also hate “How was your weekend?” or “What did you do this weekend?” The first one I’m just like “fine.” and the second one makes me think “Noneya.” Neither of which are great responses lol.

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