So I’ve never made a Reddit post or anything and I feel quite guilty posing on here at all but I have no one I feel comfortable enough to talk to about it Irl. So anyway I (20F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for just over 3 years. Our relationship has been great up until this last year. I’ve recently put on a considerable amount of weight since last Christmas out of nowhere. That necessarily isn’t the problem. (he doesn’t make any comments or make me feel bad about the weight gain.) Before I gained the weight my boyfriend and I had regular good sex. Over the last year we almost stopped completely. Until one morning we did it. But then, again, it was maybe twice month after that, to which I had no problem with. Until it suddenly became completely non intimate. There’s no forplay there’s no nothing, just early in the morning he’ll roll over and just start going at it. Most of the time I just wake up to him stabbing me with his… anyway, I’ve started to dread the mornings when he’ll want to get it on because now it doesn’t feel like it’s for the both of us at all. It doesn’t last like how it used to at all, no more than 5 mins now. And I don’t finish at all, then after he just rolls back over to sleep and I’m left to deal with the mess.. idk what’s going on but I no longer feel comfortable having sex with him at all because I get nothing out of it except for being insanely sore from him trying when I’m just not in the mood. I haven’t said anything to him about any of it because we already, like I said before rarely even have sex at all.
4 comments
Well first and foremost you MUST talk to him about this or nothing will get resolved. You don’t know why he’s doing this so you can’t help. Why don’t you feel comfortable communicating with him?
Oh hunny, that man is using you like you’re his hand. This is so horrible that it’s borderline if not flat out sexual abuse. You’re not consenting, you’re not even awake to give consent. He’s doesn’t care if you’re wet, or even if you are enjoying yourself. This is so not okay. I really want you to think about what he’s doing to you. Please figure out a way to stop this disgusting behavior. This is so awful. 🫂
Edit for misspelled word.
Sounds like a case of just losing physical attraction to you. I mean let’s not play dumb..you act like weight just magically came on out of nowhere. It’s very simple…calories in, calories out. When you were thinner you had more regular sex and now he needs to have sex with you while your unconscious? What a creep. You should leave him and focus on getting in shape so you can get a better man who will rock your world! Or even better find a guy who loves you as is… THIS AINT IT SIS!
Your guy may be after instant gratification, but it’s also possible that he never learned that [foreplay is an essential part of sex for a woman](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/09/foreplay/) — and enjoyable for a man. Perhaps, too, he doesn’t even realize you aren’t fulfilled by your sack sessions. Tell him (when you two aren’t in the throes of passion) that even though he may be good to go before his pants hit the floor, you need him to take it slow. By taking the time to get you worked up — with a tantalizing mixture of kissing, licking, teasing and touching — not only will you get more out of the experience, but his orgasm can be intensified, too.
Hopefully, he’ll heed your advice, but if he still tries to go from 0-60, remind him to slow down. Say something like “I’m not quite ready yet. I love when you touch me here. Will you do that some more?” Then take his hand and place it where you want it. If you’re not comfortable being that direct, try a more playful approach and tell him that you want to play a game where his challenge is to get you as wet and aroused as possible. The rules: He has immediate access to every inch of your bod, but may use only [his hands and mouth to touch you](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/03/cunnilingus/). Encourage him to linger at your favorite hot spots by being vocal when he’s rubbing you the right way. When you’re so aroused you can’t stand it anymore, give him the [go-ahead to slip inside of you](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/09/01/affectionate/). Once he sees the results of his efforts (a horny-as-hell girlfriend), he probably won’t want to forgo foreplay in the future. But, if he doesn’t try to change him wham-bam ways after you clue him in to your carnal needs, be patient and try again.