So I’ve been going to the gym for about two months now and there’s a girl I really like in their and we always stare at each other and follow each other around but I can never say anything to her and I really like her everytime I go to talk to her I freeze up and get nervous am I the only one that struggles with this problem? I was wondering if anybody could give me advice on how to approach her and what to say
3 comments
So here’s the thing. It sounds like you are in the right subreddit, as your social skills aren’t at a level yet where you know how to open a conversation, let alone how to keep it going once you have an answer to the first thing you say/asked.
You *could* just go towards her and say “Hi, I’m Marcus” and if she is socially adept, she will tell you her name, and possibly say nice to meet you. But the question is do you know what to do from there?
If I were you, I would start working on my social skills and confidence for real by approaching a whole bunch of people I am *not* attracted to in order to practice how to keep a conversation going and fun/interesting. That’s where I would start.
There’s nothing wrong with asking this lovely girl out, sure, I’m just saying your social skills won’t magically “be there” once you meet her for a date.
If it’s a girl you’re not attracted to, will you have trouble speaking to her? Like pokerisniceiluvplayp said, you need to work on your confidence and approach first. You have a mindset that you don’t want to fuck up anything with this girl you seem to like. At this stage, you should not have any goals like a date or anything. Just talking to her should be a win for you.
So the next time your eyes catches hers, walk over to her immediately and say, “Hey, what are you working on today?” Then tell a story like “I broke my arm doing that last week,” or you can say “If you break your arm doing that, just call me.” These are just suggestions, and you can say anything, as long as you say them in a free and semi-playful manner. Anything you say from there should be semi-playful; don’t have a conversation with her in a serious tone or mood. Don’t keep staring at her without doing something. That will be very disappointing. So make a move next time you’re in the gym.
So once the only goal in your mind is just talking to her, then that’s good. If she does not respond or gives a bad response, it does not matter, because now you’ve moved from freezing to having the courage to talk to her, and you just increased your social skills by another percent.
You need to also come up with a plan to work on your confidence and practice your social skills daily.
You’re not alone. Talk some gym talk with her for starters. Ask about how long she’s been at the same gym you go to. Nothing terribly difficult…just be yourself.