Kind of in an odd place in my life. I been working for a bit and 31 years old. I have little to no debt and just recently got a job in my hometown near family. I decided to live with my parents for now. I moved back for work and also cause I was bored and lonely where I used to live. Couple days ago I was catching up with an old friend from school and was hearing how friends all seem to have direction in their life which made me wonder about myself.
Like one friend applying for grad school another is about to finish their grad program. We all make good money with our current degree like over 6 figures for me. I don’t really have any desire to go back to school at the moment even though it would be a better lifestyle and money. I don’t really know what I want tbh. Alot of classmates and friends I heard found someone and got engaged. Good for them however for me I feel like I am just existing no direction per se. Only direction I have is pretty much work, save, and invest my money for early retirement. I been single for a bit just messing around here and there but ultimately not attracting any women that I want to be serious or see a future with. Some of my friends are in unhappy relationship but just stay cause its comfortable. Others are one and done. I would like to find someone and get to that next stage in life like have a kid get a house all that jazz but with the right women.
Heck I know comparison is thief of joy but its hard not to when you hear how others are doing. 30s is a weird age.
tldr: caught up with old friend hearing how people are moving upwards while im stagnant and complacent.
2 comments
Don’t stress yourself by comparing yourself with your peers. Each of us have our own time and probably it’s not yours yet. Work on your interest because success is defined differently by different people. Not everything can be quantified with career or high salary. To others, success means being surrounded by your family or the love of your life.
Well, you make significantly more than the median household income in the US – that’s nothing to sneeze at. So let’s say your finances and career are on point.
You have friends – that’s good too. And a place to live.
I start with this to say that, by a great many measures, you’re doing well – so be proud of yourself for that.
This ‘just existing’ thing is very common. I started talking to friends who seem to have it all and every single one of them expressed a sentiment similar to the one you’re expression: no direction, just existing. The people with kids describe waking up, doing family things, going to work, making money, coming home, dinner with family, then being so exhausted they pass out early and start it all over again.
**My advice: sit down and be honest about the things you want in life. Interrogate them. You already seem to know that more money / career stuff isn’t what’s bothering you.**
Your main thing seems to be finding a partner and transitioning to ‘settling down’ and starting a family. So make that a priority. Get out more, meet people IRL. You can’t force things in relationships and romance the way you can with your career. There’s a lot of luck, for example, and also a kind of ‘watched pot never boils’ deal where the guys I know who are, let’s say, more desperate for connection tend not to find anyone, whereas the people who put themselves out there but then go with the flow tend to meet partners faster.