So my previous relationship, I met my girlfriend because we made eye contact and she passed me a smile, and then we started hanging out.
But many thing’s have happened since then, covid happened, really bad break up, lost all my confidence because i was so used to being nutured by my girl and the most saddest incident that shattered my confidence:
The most popular guy in our college hostel also my roommate and the college president, tell’s me eye contact is nothing about being a creep, it’s called stare game, but the last time i tried this stare game at a girl in my gym, she just looked at me with disgust and left the weight area to go to the yoga room, so after few minutes I went to the yoga room { to get my bag as the locker’s are next to the yoga room}, she saw me coming in, thought I was following her and said stop being a creep loudly.
So now every time a girl I like tend’s to pass by me I just put my head down or look away, I’m a pretty above average looking guy, so girl’s look towards me pretty often but my inability to look towards girl and not know how to make eye contact without looking like a creep really messes all my game, my underconfidence doesn’t allow me to acheive success.
Please teach me the art of eye contact and help me bring my confidence back.
1 comment
Here’s what I’m guessing happened: The popular guy told you what works for him and did not elaborate on nuances whatsoever. He probably doesn’t know. In my experience, physically attractive guys exude confidence on top of already being tall and looking good, so all they need to do is indeed look at girls and the girls are over the moon in a lot of cases.
For us average looking folks, this does not work. The confidence part you can work on, sure, but don’t take social skills or dating advice from guys like those unless they are able to explain *why* things they do work for them.
As for specific things you can do to improve, I have 2 suggestions:
1. Stop watching porn
2. Start chatting up a whooole bunch of people you are not attracted to and learn what gets good feedback (smiles, laughter, interest in their eyes and based on what questions they ask) and what gets the opposite.
Using what you learn in this process, talking up strangers will come naturally to you over time and each time you get small nuggets of positive feedback from whoever it boosts your confidence.