Hellooo well to start off, I am a person who is naturally very awkward, and my exes have always been the ones creating conversation and the best I could do is continue it (which I think I did pretty well and no one has really complained). I think that it is also due to the fact that at that point of time I was very shy and timid when it came to dating.
As of recently, I have been more forward with my advances and have been trying my luck. Things didn’t really work out but I’ve met this new guy about a month ago. He’s a year younger (18) and is very nice (to me at least).
We met through a mutual friend and have both said that we are interested in each other. As much as that’s a good thing for the both of us, he thinks that his life is too messy and that he doesn’t want to drag me into his mess. Hence, we haven’t started texting and communicating without the presence of that mutual friend.
I want to be able to text him and at least get to know him better while I also give him space to settle the things in his life, but as I said before I’m pretty awkward, especially when him and I have nothing in common. (It’s fine when we meet though, we talk a lot when we meet up)
What are somethings that can help me spark conversations with him? Or how can I start conversing with him without scaring him away?
2 comments
Ask about hobbies (gaming, scuba diving,films,music) what he likes in his free time, the solution which always helped me when i felt a bit out of place was just ask questions in a friendly non threatening matter cause i look a bit aggressive and never had a problem, you being a girl would be twice as easy!!
The single biggest point to watch is how you use “Close-ended” (ie. Yes/No) versus “Open-ended” (ie. who, what, where,when how…….aka: “Top Five”) kinds of questions and statements. Even the most shy person can hold their own in a conversation if your responses, and your own questions, focus away from conversation-killing “yes” and “No”. Think of these two words as slamming the door on the subject under discussion. If asked a question think of how you would start your answer with one of these Top Five. If you are asking a question think of how you would start your question with one of these Top Five.
The rest is practice. Turn on the TV news (or the radio) and listen to the newsperson interview someone. Randomly pick a question and frame how you would respond using one of the Top Five. It usually takes about a week to ten days of practice before the technique just flows naturally and you need not concentrate on using the “Top Five”.
FWIW.