I have been struggling with porn for 8 years now and I need help. I’m a part of r/NoFap but I keep slipping up! I could really use some advice.

45 comments

  3. Have to find something to direct your energies towards. A trained professional can probably help in that regard.

  4. use a porn blocking software. ask someone else to do the password as you can just override it otherwise.

    get an accountibility partner.

    exercise

    get outside

    spend more time around other people

  6. What worked for me is just to gradually reduce frequency until I just watch it once or twice a month.

  8. Turn off your phone.
    Go outside.
    Associate guilt with masturbation.
    Eat better.
    Work out.
    Find a hobby that isnt self destructive, i.e working out, music production, meditation.
    And lastly, remember that its not a linear process. U WILL slip up from time to time.

    Also, masturbation isnt unhealthy. Infact its good for your prostate. The addiction to porn is the bad part. Try masturbating without porn.

  9. This is a boat I know for a fact we share with a lot of people, man. I don’t think there’s anything I can say that isn’t said here already, but I will say do everything you can to find what works for you and stick to it. Porns disastrous stuff and it can only drag you down.

  12. Get more hobbies, preferably ones that require you to be out of the house, or at least too occupied to use a computer or smartphone.

  13. You may want to try another community than NoFap. I’ve been on Reddit for over a decade now and that place doesn’t exactly have a sterling reputation lol. Sure, that place may be just what some people need and that’s great for them. Other people should probably stay far away from that forum lol.

    If it’s causing you serious distress then a professional is probably the best for you. I know that psychologists and other professionals are expensive, but it’s an unfortunate reality. What is healthy and what is not healthy is not something that internet strangers can figure out.

    Best of luck, OP.

  14. You could try to learn to have a healthy relationships with porn and masturbation, instead of fighting yourself with religion. NoFap is nothing more than the blind leading the blind.

  16. Try attending an AA meeting. I know it is geared toward alcoholics, but it truly can help with any addiction. You don’t have to tell anyone you have a different addiction; just go and listen to other stories. Any time someone refers to drinking, just change it to pornography in your head. I know someone who was addicted to heroin but hated NA. He related more to the mature people in AA. He also said that it helped him more to stay away from heroin because he wasn’t surrounded by people who had the same addiction. Just an idea. Good luck OP!

  17. With any addiction it is not safe to go cold turkey. You’ll relapse super quick.
    I’d suggest make it a fun one, cut down to once a week and god damn look forward to it. Then after that cut it to once every two weeks then once a month.

    With all addiction you need to want to stop before you can take a break seriously

  21. Ok so you need a account ability partner
    Therapist
    A select group of guys you meet with weekly
    Sex addicts anonymous is good they got zoom meeting

    It’s a hard struggle took me 7 years fighting to get were I’m at now and I still slip up I still struggle day to day to keep my self motivated

  25. Discipline yourself, Divert your attention to other things. Unfollow all things or remove from your sights all potential triggers that will make you watch porn again.

  26. Hey man. A few things from experience.

    If you try to go cold turkey, you’ll probably fail. So try cutting down the numbers from twice a day to once, then once every two days etc over a period of a few weeks/months. If you’re struggling with edging and wasting literally hours every day, then try to do it quicker before then trying to cut down. Literally take it gradual and slow. You’re overcoming a dopamine addiction, it’s like weaning off heroine.

    Make a journal entry with a calander, so you can record when you do and don’t, and if you relapse, make a note of whether there was a stressor/cause or just bored/horny.

    If you’re struggling with porn AND masturbation, then again, focus on only one of those until its under better control (not necessarily perfect, just better), then move onto the other. If you do too much all at once, you’ll likely fail.

    Find alternative dopamine fixes, running, gym, playing games, work, other hobbies. If you feel the need, then literally leave the house if possible or sit in a room with someone else. Maybe have a playlist (I used to have a stoic playlist about strength and over coming weaken) that you can quickly listen too.

    Remember positive award is stronger than negative feedback. Give yourself praise when you do well, reward with chocolate or do something you enjoy (not porn 😉), if you fail, then remember to forgive yourself….its like 1 step back from 5 steps forward so don’t think negative about having a slip up….just part of the journey.

    Also, I found setting goals useful. So maybe after the first 2 weeks, cut it down to once a day, then after a month…only once every two days etc.

    Good luck man.

  27. Don’t go all out right away. Next time you go to masturbate, only use porn for half the session. Once you get used to that, only use porn to get you going initially. Once you get used to that, cut porn out altogether. Worked for me.

    You don’t have to quit masturbation altogether, but cut porn out of the equation and you’ll be fine. Masturbation is as much of a natural bodily function as peeing is.

  30. What helped me is not nofap subreddit but pornfree subreddit, if you are going to follow that reddit there is 90% chance you will fail go for pornfree subreddit instead where they don’t force you go for the nofap .
    The thing is porn is linked to masturbation so if go for no porn and no fap you’ll tend to fail due to the no fap and you’ll end up on watching porn,So my suggestion will be masturbate once in a week without porn that will stop your porn addiction atleast that’s how i left porn addiction.
    Even when i first started i was not able to leave the addiction because i didn’t delink my porn addiction with masturbation addiction,you have to take masturbation as healthy habits and that way you will success and trust me you’ll get not guilt after masturbation without porn the way you used to get the guilt trip during pmo release

  32. Ive done this (and relapsed as i didnt have access to ALL 3 things below), it takes 3 things:

    1. A reason to stop doing it, some life method you want to achieve
    2. A replacement for it, something you can do instead of watching porn and you really have to want to do it (what ever that is)
    3. A cure for the urges that porn filled

    For me i had no cure for what porn filled, being single with no interest from anyone meant once i gave up porn after 6 months, the urge started to creep back in, once that starts you know there is a way out, so how long do you live before you take that way out.

    ​

    Judging by the amount of dead bedroom posts i see which is likely only a tiny example of real life its highly unlikely porn is vanishing anytime fast.

  33. Focus on being present. I usually go to the gym to tire myself out then look for other things I’d like to do (hobbies). By this point the addiction/over use is manageable

  34. First: [There is no real scientific evidence that something like a porn addiction exists](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too). You are horny, not addicted. Everytime I post something like this, although I’ve linked several articles and research, some idiots downvote it because they can’t comprehend the truth. There is no conspiracy, porn doesn’t affect you negatively in any way, repercussions are mostly linked to the society you are in, meaning that e. g. religious people are more likely to “have” such an “addiction” as they are more likely to idenitfy it as a problem. Which stems more from their ideology than a verifiable scientific phenomenon.

    Yes, you shouldn’t masturbate too often, but not doing it at all is much unhealthier. NoFap is a meme with no scientific backing or whatsoever. If you really struggle to resist the urge of watching porn, then the best way is to do some other activity. As soon as I got a job, I masturbated maybe 2-4x times a week, mostly on the weekend. If you don’t want to watch porn, use your fantasy. Think about your crush or the girl you’ve seen at a Club or whatever. It’s your thoughts and nobody can do anything about it, unless you don’t become a creep in the real world.

    I don’t know how old you are, but I’m at the end of my 20s and my libido is in fact declining, and this isn’t much of problem for me. You will eventually overcome the struggle.

  37. Oh my god please do NOT follow no fap its has real cult vibes and is wayyyy to strict.

    Masturbation is **healthy**, and leaning to do it without external stimulus is the **key** to beating porn.

    How its worked for me and other guys ive talked to is, once you quit porn, orgasms get way better. So much better you dont even *want* to go back to porn. Once you have something better, and your imagination can make any scenerio you want, porn loses its luster.

    If you go full no fap and quit jerking off all you are doing is building a massive amount of tension, and youll crave getting off like a junkie. Thats the perfect grounds for a relapse.

    Tell yourself you only need to make it 2 months. 2-3 months is all it really takes of no porn for your brain to unwire the artificial dopeamine pathways pron created.

    In this time make it your focus to get off using your imagination, the methadone to do this is just imagine your favorite porn scenerios in your head. You can imagine whatever you want , its the visual imput stimulation that creates the dopeamine reward which is what youre addicted to. After a couple weeks youll be able to imagine organic scenerios and get off to that. Learning and getting in tune with your body and dick is absolutely crucial.

    Dont get yourself down or shame yourself for when you relapse. Fuck i realpsed like 10 times. But im 2 years porn free now and i dont ever want to go back. Following no fap was the worst era of me trying to quit.

    The prize is a largly increased libido, way better orgasms, and i have huge loads every time. Not tiddly little poots that dribble out, im always blasting rope unless im dehydrated.

  40. Over exposure worked for me. One of my jobs is working at a porn store and after a few months I almost never fap anymore.

  41. Once I realized how unhealthy it was for my mental well-being, that helped a lot, I still have moments, and it’s usually when I feel my girl being neglectful, but having things to preoccupy my time also helped a lot, be it video games, compulsive cleaning, building cars.. essentially making myself so tired I didn’t need to yank it to sleep..

  42. I believe you need to have something IRL to hook yourself into. Since porn involves a more personal and more emotional part, that might be the hard part.

    Personally, I don’t think it’s worth the struggle. I work, study, workout and nothing ever paid off. Trying to stop just brings me unnecessary suffering.

  43. The best thing to do, as with any addiction, is to notice how often you do it, and the triggers that cause the craving. Next is to simply practice noticing when you say no to yourself.

    Then, you make sure to praise yourself ever time you notice when you say no to yourself.

    Shame will not help you beat any addiction, so just do your best to stop any negative self talk when you notice that you’re saying bad things about yourself, even just to yourself. When people try to shame you for your addiction, try to first ask them to help praise you when they notice the good things. They may *mean* well, but they’re doing much more harm than good.

  45. I know this is askmen but from female perspective maybe it could be motivational when I tell you that sex with men who don’t watch porn is (from my own experience) much better! I don’t really care if my partner watches porn or not, but somehow I always had better sex with those who didn’t.

    Also it happened to me few times that serious porn addicts couldn’t orgasm for a really long time. I enjoy long sex but sometimes it can be too much if it takes hour(s) to finish. I never had such issue with men who didn’t watch porn.

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