Throwaway because she’s on reddit
I recently started speaking to a childhood friend of mine after we met. I’m 19M, she’s 19F. It was mostly me initiating conversation, and it’d be like me sending her several messages at once, then her responding a few days later, not asking anything, making me initiate again. This of course got boring soon and she not responding for days compounded that, so I just decided she wasn’t interested in making conversation and stopped texting her altogether.
Except after 3-4 days, she sends me a message asking me why I stopped texting her and that she enjoyed talking to me? She didn’t take part in much conversation, but liked it apparently? How do I bring up to her that I don’t like the way she talks without driving her away? What’s the best way to request her to be more active in the conversation?
3 comments
Tell her it takes more than 1 person to carry a conversation, and you’re not in the business of giving your energy and attention to people who can’t be bothered to at the very least respond.
Sometimes you have to take a step back and realize phones work both ways.
Be honest about it. Let her know that she’s putting in no effort to keep the conversations going, and conversations are two-way streets.
One party not putting in much effort at all shows a lack of interest, and is generally considered a “polite” way to get someone to leave you alone. Like if I were in your shoes I’d assume she found me annoying and was doing the bare mininum to humour me in an attempt to not hurt my feelings.
So call her out on it. If she responds negatively/is defensive and unwilling to acknowledge her fault, then she isn’t worth the continued effort on your end, because she’s telling you that *you* aren’t worth it.
She is into game playing. She wants you to chase.