I just want to vent and have others hear me out
So my girlfriend (26) was invited to Halloween horror nights by her brother. She said no at first because she knows I (24) don’t handle things like that well (have anxiety and dealing with health issues). We also have a trip planned already a week after the proposed Halloween horror night invite. I thought ok no big deal, she’s fine with not going. Flash forward two weeks, she’s upset because her brother invited her ex-best friend. They get into it and eventually her brother cancels the plans entirely. My girlfriend calms down about this and all is well.
Today, her sister in law messages her saying she really would like us to go to Halloween horror nights and explains my gf’s brother was just upset about the situation. My gf tells her she wants to go but I don’t want to so she has to respect my choice too. She asked me to read the message and I say you can go alone if you’d like, I will just stay behind. I guess this was the wrong thing to say because it then turned into an argument about how she never goes out anymore (mind you I take her out every weekend to at least SOME event or restaurant etc.), How im holding her back because of my issues (health and anxiety), she wants adventure (mind you she grew up with no money or ever going ANYWHERE), and also mocked my mental state and physical appearance ( saying im weak and a wimp). This really got to me and I stormed out because I don’t like being disrespected. I admit I should have stopped arguing right when It started. I just don’t understand how she can be like this when I try my best to take her out on mini road trips, hell we just saw a concert last weekend! The last year has been rough on my health ( I had covid and got long term effects from it), and Im only now starting to feel better. I understand it was hard for her and im trying to make up for it while dealing with my health issues too. I just feel she’s being spoiled and ungrateful. I have a trip planned next month for us too to go far away.
It’s been two years together and im unsure of what to do next. How should I talk to her about this once things cool down?
Tl;Dr: Girlfriend wants life of adventure, I have health issues and anxiety holding me back
3 comments
I think that for someone with anxiety and health concerns, having your partner go alone (well, with her brother and his group) to a horror event is a fine compromise. But it sounds like there are a lot of issues going on at once that aren’t being communicated and it might be good to sit down when the two of you are calm and have a talk about what’s happening and see if you two are marching off in the same direciton.
If she wants to go that badly, then she can go. It’s overpriced and overrated, so if she thinks you’re holding her back, let her go on that, uh, “adventure” herself.
I think you should ditch someone who doesn’t respect you and treats you like she does. You’re not her personal event planner; cancel the trip you’ve got coming up.
Don’t let it become 3 years of this crap.