Ever since I started college a month ago it feels like everyone is so much better looking and talented than me. I’m literally so ugly it’s almost laughable and I don’t have any special talents or skills other than doing well in school.
My personality is ok I guess, Im not super extroverted or introverted but Idk if I should bother putting in the effort into making friends because I feel like I don’t have much to offer them.
Maybe my mindset is wrong but idk
10 comments
Yes. People want to associate with people who are doing as well as them or better. At minimum, people want to be able to get something out of the relationship beyond ‘friendship’
Very. People don’t usually like you if you don’t have looks or a talent.
Listen… This topic is … Idk too sensitive… But look I’m not going to tell you the ” postive people talk ” like nooo people just look at real you and appearance is not everything and this sh** because on the real life i swear and i saw it by myself… The people just look at you ( at the first) just by you outer look … Then your personality… I saw it happen aloooot of times and unfortunately no one talk about it.
No one talk about that the appearance is really really important and if you got it you’ll have alot of chances of making friends and gf … Specifically gf
And no one talk about the people like you and many others… Just who don’t have the ( society gold-standards of appearance) … They are completely forgotten and no one talk to them or even want to.
They just don’t feel your pain because they don’t care about it … I know my comment is hard but man that’s not my pov or opinion… That’s the reality and what’s happening in real life!!
So what’s the solution then ?? It will take time but trust me it will at least increase your self confidence alot and will make you more attractive and handsome like gym, your hair style, beard, i know that’s sounds stupid but lol what you can do then ?? You can’t change your appearance if you know … It’s a un-gainable … You can’t work to be handsome … I think you know what i mean …
About what to offer to them … You can learn interesting hobbies and share them with your friends … That’s easy you know.. trust me it’s easy to make hobbies and share it
But you can reply to this comment and tell me more about your experience so i can help more !
Well, here’s some ugly truth:
Yes, good looking people want to hang out with and be seen with other good looking people.
But that doesn’t mean you will have a hard time making friends just due to your looks or not having any special talents, it’s just that they will likely not be the super good looking ones.
What’s to say some other people who are similar to you in some aspects won’t want to be friends with you, enjoy chattting about common hobbies (whatever they might be) and hang out playing video games together etc?
Also keep in mind that plenty of people on campus don’t feel particularly special, with talents and skills and whatnot besides getting good grades. See, that’s what you already have in common with loads of people (if indeed you feel that way).
Yes but likewise it’s also harder as a good looking person to find a real true friend.
Make? Yes. That’s the truth. When I go to a party or whatever, I notice that people will just go to others who look good or interesting. Regardless of gender, eg. guys will go talk to another guy who looks cool.
Keep? No, I don’t think there’s a huge difference.
This might be a hot take, but as long as you aren’t disheveled and stink like hell, you probably aren’t ugly.
I used to live like bum during my first year of college. So, I decided to loose a lil bit of weight, and up my clothing game. After starting my second year, people have blatantly told me that I’ve changed.
Everybody has this one thing they are good at. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to function in society. Also, special skills and talents could include traits like Intuition, Instinct etc and doesn’t necessarily have to be related to sports, looks etc.
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>I feel like I don’t have much to offer them.
I had the same problem as you, where I thought I didn’t have much to offer people in a friendship. So, I kept talking to people regardless of whether I had anything to offer or not, and after a point I realized I actually had something to offer, which in my case was humor.
There are times when you just don’t know yourself well enough and you require a 3rd party to help you find whatever you are looking for.
Also, looks are subjective. If you think you’re ugly, there’s probably someone who thinks you aren’t.
I’m sure that statistically speaking it is harder, but I’m also sure that it’s actually a pretty slight difference for each individual.
Does the social scene at your school rely on modeling or highly skilled labor? Or is it, like most social scenes, based primarily on conversation, and to a lesser degree on shared activities? If it’s the latter, then you will be able to offer your potential friends pretty much just as much as anyone else with the same conversational and activity-organizing skills as you.
Bro you’re beautiful, don’t you ever think otherwise! of course you should try and make friends, just being there for someone is enough you don’t have to offer anyone anything except friendship and laughs!
It’s not about the looks. I have seen so not so good looking people being popular just because of one trait – being humorous. And it’s ok to crack politically incorrect jokes sometimes, depending on the audience.