best friend situationship

So my best friend (26 M) and I (24 F) have been living together for two years. We were friends in high school (I had a crush on him back then) we eventually lost contact and then reconnected in the fall of 2019..at that time we became fuck buddy’s and went on some trips together. He told me early 2020 he wasn’t looking for a relationship that he didn’t want to risk having his heart break again, that he didn’t know if he could survive it. At that time I felt the same way, I had just gotten divorced (separated in 2018) and wanted to just have fun and enjoy our time together for what it was and it was simple and fun for a while
Then things got messy in his life in the summer of 2020, he had to move out of his sister’s house suddenly, and I was already moving so I offered for him to stay with me for a little while.
Summer of 2021 he went with me to visit my parents out of state and when we were there I told him I had feelings for him and he told me he couldn’t love me in that way & he didnt want a bf/gf relationship with me, because he didn’t want to hurt me and if we were to date that would mean we would eventually break up and he wants our friendship to last forever because were best friends. We did agree to be sexually exclusive and to tell one another if we were interested in or wanting to pursue that with someone else.

I have been working on healing myself a lot in the last two years, and at that point last year I wasn’t able to break my own heart. I felt frozen. I didn’t know what to do or how to set boundaries. Selfishly I really like to have sex with him. It’s how our adult friendship started and it’s been some of the bessssssst sex of my whole life … and I enjoy the romantic side of things with him, it feels so nice to express that side of myself and show him gratitude and kindness and to lift him up and I genuinely love so much about him. More than the sex, but the sex is big for me too. I love our conversations, the art we make together, the laughter and the traveling and exploring and living of life with him by my side.
So I didn’t say much of anything else about it during that time I just selfishly hung on and kept quiet about my love and deeper feelings. I did start to feel more anxious and worried about other females in his life, and trust issues in general. Which wasn’t received well by him, he struggles with communication and vulnerability, though he is trying to do better and be more compassionate and understanding. We started fighting around the end of 2021… fights that would start with me trying to gently bring up a concern or anxiety or anything vulnerable on my side and it would end with him angry and me crying.

He is also an avid festival goer and just a very charismatic and extroverted person and has lots of female friends, that he is very friendly sometimes flirty with
And he always tells me of that shouldn’t matter bc he is only fucking me and I just need to let go and accept

Fast forward now to 2022, he’s still living with me, we’re still sleeping together, we sleep in the same bed, he does not work- he does small side jobs but mainly I support us both financially. We are still “best friends”
He tells me I can’t accept the love he has for me anytime I try to talk about my wants or needs or anything that makes him uncomfortable , I “can’t just chill “ or “be happy”
And the more I’ve tried to advocate for myself and communicate boundaries and expectations and preferences and what makes me feel respected and cared for.. The more we’ve fought.

I’m not sure what to do . I really love him. And I want to live life with him. But I also want to feel love from his actions. I have sacrificed a lot for him and I truly believe he deserves the love have for him . I don’t know how to communicate my perspective or my experience in our relationship to him in a way he can hear and understand

**there’s a lot I’m sure I missed typing this out … it has been a complicated and complex situation

TL;DR been living with, sleeping with, and loving my best friend for over two years, struggling with giving more than I’m receiving