When’s the last time you’ve tried cold approaching a woman how did it go?

25 comments

1. 9 years ago. We dated for 4 years.

2. Maybe I haven’t done a cold approach but last time I met a girl in public and got her number, I had biked to the bar and was sitting alone, eating a polish dog sandwich and a Kona big wave. Wearing a helmet, bad sweat jacket, jeans and running shoes. Not a good look. She was sitting with a friend who I was not interested in, who probably doesn’t get approached. They were talking with some other stranger, an old guy who wanted to introduce the pretty girl to his son.

   I just joined in their conversation. Realized after a bit that she was cute and when oldy and the friend both happened to be away at the same time I asked her if I could have her number and go out with her next time she was in town. Just gotta be smooth man and deliberate I say. But talk to them a bit first, not to make them think you’re interested in them for the companionship rather than her looks but to confirm that yes you do like talking to this person.

3. I never did this before

4. I’ve never used old, ever.

5. I just did 20 mins ago , we’re texting now 🤷🏾‍♂️

6. Don’t if this complete stone cold but here goes –

   26 years ago – I was briefly introduced to this girl at a new grad student meet and greet for our department. Saw her around a couple times never talked. A couple weeks later or so I realized she lived in an apartment building across the street from mine. Figured out her apartment number because the reserved parking spots had apartment number painted on them.

   One day walked over there and introduced myself and asked her if she wanted to go get something to eat .

   We’ve been married 25 years.

7. I don’t waste my time with stupid 1980’s PUA tactics.

8. 2 weeks ago. Saw her on the train and I fell in love. The past few weeks before that I had let 3 hotties go by without having the balls to say anything. I was not about it to let it become 4.

   I got so lucky, she was getting off at my stop too. We both walked out, I looked at her, smiled, and said

   “excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice you’re really cute and wanted to come say hi”

   “Sorry I have a boyfriend”

   Possibly doesn’t even have a boyfriend, probably just didn’t wanna talk.

   Oh well, at least I did it lol.

9. Depends on what you mean. I can’t remember the last time I’ve done it in a non-flirty atmosphere, but about two weeks ago, I made a comment on a drink this woman was ordering and, by the end of the night, we did a karaoke performance together and took the house down with a pretty cool dance performance. Nothing after that because she was married and just here for vacation for the night, but it was a pretty awesome night. Got her insta, maybe whenever she’s back in town, we can go party again sometime.

10. As long as you’re willing to gracefully accept if she doesn’t want to talk with you, there’s no shame in going up to a woman and saying “Hi.” Just don’t have any expectations.

11. probably yesterday

    I honestly don’t think too much about it cause I do it all the time

    if you want to talk to someone do it, just don’t go in with high expectations and with the idea that you must achieve something out of it

    be vary of the response you get and react accordingly, you’ll be fine

12. Oh it was several years ago now, but hot damn did it end up being successful in the long run.

    I was in college, and I took the city bus to school. There was a cute girl on my route who I’d see frequently. I honestly don’t remember what I opened with, but I just sorta sat near her and said hey. I think maybe the fact that she’d been seeing my face on the bus for weeks makes this not strictly a “cold approach”? We never spoke until that moment though. After a few of these small talks on the bus, I asked if she wanted to hang out and she said yes.

    And that’s how we became friends. Down the line, like a year and a half later, we eventually hooked up, and we’re still close.

13. Only once or twice in my life, probably 20 years ago. (yeah, I’m old). Terrible way to get dates.

14. I did so 3 weeks ago. She’s now sleeping while I’m typing this. I haven’t been home since and feel happy! 🥹

15. I’m a woman who has never been on dating apps. Being cold approached / cold approaching someone is how all my relationships have started as I don’t have a large social circle and work as an independent contractor. I’m currently in a relationship with someone I met over a year ago in a park lol.

16. Man, life is too short to be all up in your head when it comes to finding a good partner. See someone you’re interested in? Go say hi and see what’s up. Most won’t be interested but you don’t lose anything by trying. I have a date with a woman I met at a freaking train museum last week, and I almost walked away without going for it.

17. Mine didn’t go that well, she looked at me like I was a loon

18. Last night. I was ignored

19. Let’s just say cops almost called

20. I’m a girl, so my response is about the last time I was approached by a guy (July ‘22).

    I was at the beach sunbathing. He came off very friendly and keeping his distance, which was great since I was alone. Yet, I felt safe since he wasn’t invading my personal space.

    He was setting up a tent about 20 feet away from me. I saw him notice me when he arrived, but it was just a quick acknowledgement. I sat up and put on a cover up as he was finishing and he came close to tell me he had just finished setting up his tent and introduced himself. He said he was going to go upstairs (pointing at the building he lives in) to grab a few things and if I wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on it for him. I said it was ok. He asked me how much longer I was going to stay, and that he’d be back before then.

    He came back within 45 minutes and made a bit more of small talk. 30 mins later as I was getting ready to leave he came back again and made a little bit more small talk and asked me for my number, “it would be great to stay in touch,” he said.

    We went out on 3 dates, but we just didn’t mesh well. I felt he was a little immature for me and his age, and was very much new money with a chip on his shoulder (although I kind of understand why, but he shouldn’t feel that way). I also have an inkling he thought I was someone else when he first approached me. See, I was wearing iridescent star shaped pasties as a top, a skimpy bikini bottom and space buns as my hairstyle. But, that’s only because I like having an even tan with the least amount of tan lines. So, when I met up with him on our first date he looked a bit surprised at how I was dressed and how I carry myself. He said, “You look very nice!!” I dress very feminine, with nice makeup and pretty hairstyles. I’m a bit uptight and a little guarded, but friendly lol So, I think he thought I would be more of a “fun girl” that likes to drink and party often based on how I looked when he first met me. I just felt it based on how surprised he looked. He also seemed to like those type of activities only since all of our dates included drinking, but not necessarily dinner or a place where we could get to know each other one on one.

    Edit: typos

21. There’s a list of where it’s allowed and where it isn’t.

22. Walked up to a woman in a coffee shop who looked to be around my age simply because of the book she was reading. I asked where she was in the book (Only Cry For The Living by Hollie McKay), introduced myself, and chatted briefly about the book and our coffee orders. She mentioned she was waiting for a friend, so I took the hint that she wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation then. We exchanged numbers, and I contacted her later. Nothing really came of it, but I’m glad I did it.

23. Years ago, it was always awkward and ended with them saying they had a boyfriend or me finding out she’s way too young or very boring/unintelligent. Well, I guess I sometimes do strike up “cold” conversations with women in my climbing gym, sometimes they’re flirty but they always have boyfriends (or even a husband, sometimes even kids).

    Oh well, I do fine with dating apps and do occasionally get approached by women, so I’m fine with it and think cold approaching is a waste of time anyway unless you’re the kind of guy who’ll just take any semi-attractive woman, no matter her personality or how little you have in common.

24. I saw her quite some times in a shop she was working at. I ran past her quite some times until I decided to just walk up to her. We did text for a while and met one time but then she decided to ghost me. It went semi-successful I guess.

25. Recently I walked up to a woman outside of a house party who was standing idly and just looking up at the stars. She seemed like an interesting, cool person on that basis alone, so I figured I’d shoot my shot. Told her she had a very contemplative vibe and said I’d love to know what she was thinking about.

    She gave me an unresponsive glare, completely silent, and went back to the looking at the stars. Ouch but more power to her, honestly.