Hi there,
I have a question about a girl who I met through my best friend (who also happens to be his best female friend, though I know him a few years longer than they know eachother!) This is also the reason why I never met her before.
So fast forward, I met her at a bar where she was having a drink with our mutual friend. We talked briefly, nothing interesting. I added her on Instagram, we chatted sometimes but again nothing worth to talk about. It was all friendly. I did invite her to hang once, but plans eventually fell through, so we decided to meet after her holiday, whenever that would be. During those times, we met twice, all with our mutual best friend and a few of our friends coming from the same city. We usually would go, just having a few drinks.
Now, at one point we had a ‘deeper’ chat about her relationship. Now, her relationship with her bf was already kind of a topic in our group and everybody knew that he betrayed her multiple times, stole things from her did, had hit her and talked her down, but she had forgiven him, though she was still pained and traumatized. I don´t know what happened, but for some reason during those times all felt magnetic, maybe it was the drink, maybe it was real, I do not know. We ended up kissing and having oral sex. A week later I met her again with her friend who had mixed up both his appointments, so we were both there. Again, it got out of hand and this time we had sex. Fast forward to last week, approaching the weekend, she was out and about with my friend and I bumped into them in the city (it is a small city!) so I sat down, we had a few drinks together and suddenly I could see her looking enormously sad, so I said to our best friend (who was joined by another friend as well!) that I would sit down and have a talk with her. We were a little bit ontixicated and tears were coming from her face. She told me that she felt like a horrible person, because of what she did, but that she felt conflicted as she could not establish whether she genuinely liked me or that she just thought I was attractive and she told me that she tried to talk to her boyfriend about everything that traumatized her, but he always shut her down. She still loved him, so much she couldn´t leave him, but due to the trauma she did something stupid and ‘fell in my lap’, but that she is esentially very monogamous, but the trust is just broken. I did say that her relationship seems very toxic and that I do not think she is a ‘typical cheater’ or a ‘bad person’, but that it seems she is just stuck in a web.
Lately, I have thought about whether I liked her and I think I do, we have a very playful vibe, she is beautiful, funny, generous and smart. But, Will I ever be able to trust her, considering what she did Or is this just down a slippery road? Or maybe is this a different situation, as she did not coldheartedly fooled him like he did, she didn´t even cheat when he did, and always had his back. I think she just broke and it felt like he pushed her.
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Ok tldr; I like this girl, cheated with me, had her (good) reasons for it, can I trust her?
3 comments
Please trust her so she can cheat on you like you very much deserve. Every cheater claims the person they cheat on is abusive to absolve themselves from the guilt. You’re both shitbags that deserve the worst.
Cheating is cheating, if she cheats with you she will cheat on you.
It was not an accident, you both escalated and consented to what happened, now it’s too late to think if you can trust her or not.
You both did wrong, the correct thing would have been for her to break up with him or for you to stop things from escalating to avoid being the cheat of a cheater.
She’s in a toxic relationship, and the only person who can help her out of it is herself. Don’t allow her to keep cheating with you, have a little bit of self-respect.
The only thing I can really establish from your text is that the two of you are the lowest of the low..
Even if I’m generous and overlook that, you know she is having issues at home, her life is in shambles and she herself is confused, why are you adding more issues into her life?
Anyways, you are not here to look for solutions.. You are here to look for validation, which I won’t give you.. Stop being a trash human and leave women in relationship alone.