My boyfriend and I have taken things very slowly ever since we met. We are both in our late twenties and feel compatible for life. But the issue with me is that sometimes I feel so sick with guilt after him and I fool around. I felt like this with every relationship I’ve had. Growing up I was raised as a very conservative Catholic and my parents would never ever talk about sex. It made me nervous to ever date in high school. Has this affected my relationships as an adult?
3 comments
it’ll be fine once you got married. i did this with exes and there was a bit of guilt after we fool around. no guilt one bit after i have sex with my wife. just love
There is too much shame around sex and sexual desire. There is nothing wrong with you fooling around with a partner. It’s as natural as enjoying hugs, eating really good food, or sleeping in late. It’s pleasure and its natural and human, no matter what you believe in. Try talking to your boyfriend about how you feel.
You could try reading a book like “Shameless: A Case for Not Feeling Bad About Feeling Good” by Nadia Bolz-Weber or “Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms” by Matthias Roberts. It might help to find a support group for people like you who feel guilty after sex. Reddit has a sub for everything, so you may be able to find a supportive sub on Reddit. You could also look elsewhere for a similar support group.
If you’re still a practicing Christian you should think about joining a church that has a more enlightened view of sexuality than the Catholic church. The Episcopal church might be a good fit for you because the services include communion.