My [19F] best friend [19F] is getting on my last nerve

Me and BF have been best friends practically forever. We grew up together and constantly hung out, had sleepovers, ect. We’ve had bumps in the road with a fight here and there, but it’s never been anything substantial- nothing that lasted more than a few days anyway.

But then college came. We decided to room together in an on campus apartment, we aligned all of our classes together since we had the same major. Our lives are pretty much intertwined and things were good…until it wasn’t.

Now, I know all there is to know about BF, but I guess I just never took into account how much it would actually end up affecting me when living with her. I always knew she was lazy, but before college, the worst thing that would come out of it was her part of partner projects last minute or arriving late to hangouts. Nothing a simple “tell her an earlier time than it actually is” won’t fix. I knew she was a bit messy but her mom always forced her to clean if I ever came over her house so not much there either.

But this is college. Her mom isn’t here to nag her and college classes are a lot more lax than high school ever was. Luckily, partner projects are seemingly nonexistent in college so far, but that doesn’t mean I’m off the hook. BF has gotten into an annoying habit of staying up really late playing video games and then skipping class because she’s too tired. This wouldn’t be a problem usually. After all, it’s her life and it doesn’t really affect me if she self sabatoges herself. I’ve told her before it’s not a good idea, but she shook me off saying I sounded like her mother so I let it be. Then when the class naturally got harder and required us to pull from past knowledge, BF starts coming to me every time for notes and help on assignments. I wouldn’t mind if this was only once every blue moon kind of thing, but it’s happening every week and it’s starting to grate on my nerves. Every time she comes to me there is small “you wouldn’t need my help if you attended class” on my lips, but I choke it down knowing that those are fighting words.

Then there’s her messiness. We have seperate rooms so I don’t care what her room looks like, but the common area/kitchen is always in state of disarray when she comes through it. Pots and dishes are just casually left in the sink, crumbs litter the counters and floor, amazon and food boxes sit in the living room waiting to be thrown out. I usually just constantly remind her and she eventually does it, but it gets annoying to have to remind her to do the basic thing of cleaning up after herself. I’ve tried just *not* cleaning up after her to see if she would eventually see for herself that she’s letting things get out of hand, but she really doesn’t seem to care much at all.

I’m unsure of how to deal with this because BF isn’t the type to take criticism all that well. Whenever I try, no matter how gentle I try to be about it, she always complains that I’m nagging her and being too much or a clean freak or something. I’m not trying to ruin our friendship over this considering she’s one of the people I feel the closest to in my life, but with every instance I can feel myself starting to boil over.

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TL;DR: My best friend since I was child is skipping class and I constantly have to help her and she’s also leaving a mess in the common area of our shared apartment. She doesn’t take criticsm well so I’m unsure of how to handle the situation without rocking the boat.