Hey, hope you’re all well.
So I’ve realised that the ultimate thing that gets me off, is knowing how much the other person wants me. I have a very close male friend who has had a crush on me for years and we’ve talked about it but I don’t return his feelings so we have stayed just friends. We did sleep together once after a drunken night, but now are both seeing other people. I am not attracted to him physically.
We now have a really weird friendship. When we were both single, he offered to ‘review’ videos I had made and let me know any areas for improvement. We both knew that really he wanted my nudes to wank over, but also I am insecure so appreciated knowing what worked well and what could be better for future content lol.
Anyway, before we both started seeing people we had spoken about him maybe filming me one day cause it can be difficult to get the angles myself. It never happened, but now this has become a HUGE fantasy of mine. It’s only sexier that he has a girlfriend (myself, I’m not with someone but I am interested in a guy and pursuing it, very early days).
The thing that turns me on the most is he has told me multiple times that I’m the most attractive woman he knows, and the thought of stripping naked and playing with myself whilst he watches is so hot. Imagining laying on his bed with my legs and pussy spread as he’s on his knees right up close filming it, and asking him how much he wants to touch me and him losing his mind honestly gets me going too much. Asking him questions about how much he wants me and getting him to sniff and take me in without touching me. Then him having to play with himself cause he can’t take the sight anymore without doing SOMETHING.
Urgh. It’s so annoying. I’ve thought about this so much lately and the post nut clarity afterwards is horrible. I hate cheating and I feel bad for his girlfriend even though nothing has happened in real life but I just strongly get off on feeling like he finds me so hot. It must be the ego boost thing.
The guy I’m interested in turns me on in a completely different way, it’s primal and animalistic and purely sexual desire, but with my friend it’s a new height of arousal because he does make me feel worshipped. He genuinely would idolise the ground I walked on if given the chance. The guy I like now plays it cool and we seem on equal playing field, so it doesn’t make me feel the same (but I love this just as much, he wants me too but I don’t think he thinks I’m the hottest woman ever 😂).
Similar has happened when exes of friends have expressed interest in me and married men from work. I just love knowing I could have the power to seduce men I suppose, and it’s forbidden and taboo. But I wondered if there’s a name for this type of kink?