The father of my child (24m)has an extensive history of cheating and lying, and inappropriate internet use. I’m (20f) okay with pornhub and all that but NOT anything on social media where he can directly message anyone. We talked about this numerous times. I’ve never had twitter but he was being distant and I had a gut feeling again. So I downloaded twitter and checked his followers and likes. There’s so many women on there, some of them as young as 19, all scantily dressed or naked. None of them look like me, especially not since I gave birth 2 1/2 months ago. I thought we were going to be a family. It hurts so much. I’m so tired. Somebody please help me I’m so lost I don’t know what to do.
TL;DR
Feeling tired and hopeless after finding my partner interacting with women online… again
4 comments
are these women just random women he found online and is trying to meet? Are they influencers/models? Are they sex workers? If it was just the internet usage I’d say it would be manageable through counselling and firm boundaries. Porn addiction can be quite a strong compulsion but it’s manageable if he wants to get it under control. But honestly, with his past, an EXTENSIVE history of lying and cheating, I don’t think it’s worth saving. He knows you’re clinging to the dream of being a family so you’re not gonna leave. As someone who’s partner had a history of cheating. It’s not worth the headache. It’s just not. The 24 hour stress of worrying what they’re thinking or where they are or what they’re doing. It’s better to just pull the plug. Hire a lawyer to work out custody and separate from this man. It’ll be hard at first but after I separated from my ex and got custody of my kids from her I’ve never been less stressed
First. I am sorry you are tired and hurt and when you feel that way it is very difficult to make decisions.
Next stop trying to negotiate his behavior and treatment of you. He is not going to change.
You need that mental energy for you and the baby.
Finally, can you identify resources either among friends, family, the community to help you come up with a plan of action for leaving? You are also going to have to find affordable legal help for a custody agreement. Do you have a job? Can you save money?
You and the baby need to be in a stable and supportive environment.
I recommend the subreddit r/loveafterporn
Are you still with this cheater?