I [24, F] had/have a close friend [25, F] who had distanced herself from me from the last 4 months due to unclear reasons.
She just said that she felt that I didn’t want her to advance in her career(which involved temporarily moving away). She confirmed that I didn’t do/say anything which made her feel that way. But just because these thoughts made her uncomfortable, she wanted distance from me. I tried to clarify my side as best I could but she still said that she is going through some work related chaos and still needs space. (Just to clarify, we are both straight and in a platonic friendship)
It did hurt me and leave me doubting as her reasons were lame. But I recovered and avoided thinking of her. I just knew that even if I wanted to reconcile, I was powerless so there was no point thinking about it. I just went about my life and focused on other things.
Now she wants to hangout again and I don’t have any reaction to that.. A part of me is sceptical as I don’t want to subject myself to pain again. I am not angry, it just feels weird.
Do you think it’s okay to distance yourself from a friend for no clear reason? I did consider her a close friend, but I feel distant now.
TLDR: My close friend needed distance from me and is back now after 4 months.
1 comment
I can understand her reasoning for distancing herself, she had important decisions to make and felt upset and awkward because she was afraid if she told you her career plans you’d disapprove. Now that she’s back you don’t want to spend time with her because you’re worried she’s flighty and May distance herself again. If you no longer feel comfortable you don’t have to spend any time with her. I distanced myself from a whole friend group like a decade ago after gossip started because I outed one of the members as a cheater to their girlfriend, causing her to break up with him. We still see each other occasionally at events and are civil but it definitely changed the whole dynamic and didn’t sit right with me that I was the one demonized