So I hardly go out with co-workers. Actually this was my first time this school year going out with other teachers. But we just got done with parent teacher conferences and my coworker (30F) invited me to go to a brewery for drinks. Initially I was going to drive both of us there but we ended up taking an Uber just to be safe in case I decided to drink more. So later I ask my bf if he could pick me up and give me a ride home. My coworkers husband was picking her up and he would’ve given me a ride but he was going to work immediately after picking her up. Anyways my boyfriend said no because he would lose his parking spot. Now.. some background info. I ALWAYS pick us up when we go out. Because I know his parking situation is tough (his family had 5 cars and only 2 spots in apartment complex). So most of the time (99%) I drive.
Also I hardly. HARDLY, ask him for favors. And this one time I asked him. He said no because he would lose his parking spot… I said okay but it really hurt me. I was “fine” but about an hour later I was honest with him and told him I was hurt that he said no. Because my thinking is say he was going to work and he wasn’t getting out till 7 pm (which has been his schedule sometimes cause he gets his work schedule weekly and it changes every week) He responded by saying I was selfish for asking him to pick me up. Idk. I told my cousin about this and she thinks it was an asshole move of him to do. We’ve been together for nearly 2 years and he never has pulled something like this. I feel like he doesn’t care about me now. What do y’all think? Maybe I am wrong?..
TLDR; I’m upset after my boyfriend called me selfish for asking him for a ride home after having few beer with a teacher friend.
9 comments
Do you live with him?
Yeah, you’re in the wrong here and for turning it into this whole thing like he’s the unreasonable one. You volunteered him for a favor (apparently without any warning beforehand) that would cause him actual problems all because you didn’t want to plan ahead for yourself. He’s not the one in the wrong here at all, and you owe him a very serious apology.
So you got two answers you didn’t like and then you dismiss them.
You are in the wrong, you should have asked him before hand rather than just expecting him to, and he was busy so you should have just called an uber, really not hard. In the future plan ahead and realise that people can be busy and aren’t going to always be there for you. Don’t hold this over his head at all because you not planning ahead isn’t his fault. If it was an emergency it’d be different but obviously it wasn’t.
What’s with all the hate? People in a loving relationship often want to help each other out. If once in a while my partner asked me to pick her up because she’s had a few drinks and has no way home it would would irresponsible and potentially dangerous to leave her out there for the sake of a parking space
You asked. He said no.
It should have ended here. But no. You need to express how hurt you were about not having a lift. A bit dramatic, don’t you think?
I don’t know if this is a part of a bigger problem and maybe this is just the straw that broke the camel back. But as an outsider I have to say that you did sound a bit selfish
I feel like you definitely could have asked in advance, but I understand why you’re upset. I’m sure you would pick him up if he had asked.
I doubt he had any malicious intent, but it’s kind of like- some women are ok with their boyfriends or husbands not buying them flowers (for example) and others want flowers and will be upset if they don’t get any because that is how they feel loved.
Everyone has different needs and expectations in relationships. I know if I was drinking and ask my bf to pick me up I’d feel uncared for and like he didn’t have my back- especially if it wasn’t something I did often. I want to feel I can rely on my partner if I need to. I mean obviously your bf doesn’t have to drop whatever he’s doing… but if it’s just a matter of a parking space.. wouldn’t he rather see you get home safe?
Different people have different expectations in relationships, so I’m not sure why some of the comments are making you into some villain. I don’t think you are
So when you’re pregnant or sick he will also not want to lose his parking spot?
I wouodnt expect my girlfriend to pick me up if i went drinking.
I d ask alright but if she said no fine. If she said yes and changed her mind fine too.
If she asked me i might say yes or i might say no depending how i felt.
We re adults and can look after ourselves and more so we are human beings subject to whims fancies and a whole range of moods and energy levels.
Why did you bother even asking the question if your going to disagree with every comment you don’t like.
You already know what you think about the situation.