Hi all, I’ve (26) been with my gf (26) for over 2 years now, while we’ve had the best years of dating and doing things. Recently, she found her broken iPhone which hadn’t been working for 3 years – she asked me to fix – I’m handy with tech so I fixed it. While I completely trust her, I couldn’t resist looking through this old phone, I found some old pictures and videos from before we’d even met each other. I couldn’t help but feel shit and insecure, some of the pictures are with ex bf’s, some normal and some sexual, some of just random crap. She did say there’s probably pictures with ex’s but it was years ago etc.
I feel like I’ve opened a can of worms as I knew I’d find something like this, of course our relationship is really good but now I feel so weird inside? It’s totally naive to think she wouldn’t have had past relationships but it’s almost removed that exclusivity in my head?
I’m not sure how to remove this sinking feeling? Any advice?
TL;DR: restored gf’s phone, found pictures and messages from her relationships.
8 comments
If you can’t cope with the fact that women you date are all going to have full lives that they had before you began dating or even knew each another then you need to take a break from dating, get some therapy, and get yourself out of your own head before you move on with another relationship. You’re 26 yrs old and women in your age range are very unlikely not to have any kind of dating relationships before meeting you.
There are some fancies the mind goes on that we just have to step over.
It feels shit but it’s all in your head.
By realizing that everyone has a past. She chose to be with you. You’re her present and future.
You have a past too. Anything before you doesn’t matter.
Wait did you just….not know she’d had relationships before you?
Get over it. You probably had those same texts with whoever you dated.
Were they intimate pics? If not, what is the problem? And if they were and she told you they were there, why did you look? I mean I get it, knowing about someone’s past and seeing it are two entirely different things. But it’s like you went looking for trouble?
This happened to a friend of mine and it ruined a 4 year relationship. He couldn’t get the vids out of his head. You need to decide if you can put this behind you or let this young lady go and not drag her down because of her past. You have to remember she picked you because she wants to be with you, not someone in her past. Time will lessen the anxiety you feel, but only you know if you can move past it to have a healthy relationship.
So you are basically crying about something you caused on your own? Get over yourself lol