I have very few positive memories and associations with sex so when I have a good time I like to hold onto that. But when the other participant starts to switch up or the connection fizzles out because they’re texting me less or seeing other people etc, I start to feel rejected and begin hating them and the memories I had in bed with them. How do I stop? I don’t want to negatively associate those things or take it personally anymore
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sounds like you may just subconsciously want a long term or real relationship. you get feelings of almost jealousy (disguised by hatred) when they start showing interest in someone else. you could stop having these casual encounters and that would take care of the issue. i really have no other advice
I don’t think you can stop those feelings. But what you can do is have a conversation with that person (FWB or casual partners) and tell them how you feel. It’s ok to set expectations and boundaries, even in casual relationships. But ultimately if you’re looking for a monogamous partner, then you should put your energy in that.
You may benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, because it teaches techniques that you can use to reduce the frequency and intensity of your negative thoughts. [https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/)