Why can’t I make eye contact with people anymore? wtf

anyone look at me i look down or at my phone, it really sucks feeling anxiety when someone look u in the eye

38 comments
  1. i’ve got the opposite thing lol. people look away if I look at them, especially with strangers

  2. Damn I wondered the same thing today. It must be so weird for people to see me looking literally anywhere but in their eyes. I dunno, it seems so weird to stare at someone, but apparently it’s rude not to ?

  3. Sorry if this sounds dumb or trite, but just in case it’s helpful to hear, it might be better to change your goal from “make eye contact without feeling anxious” into “make eye contact for 1 second while feeling anxious and hating it”.

    Sometimes I get in a rut where I can’t do something because my brain will scream, and the only way I climb out is when I say “ok fine I will do it while actively screaming inside”.

  4. Same, I look at the floor when walking or stare forward into the distance to avoid eye contact.

  5. I sat down with a prof once after class for some extra help. Didnt realize I did the exact same thing until she literally started moving her body and head to match where my eyes were looking to force eye contact.

    Classic case of exposure therapy. It definitely is not easy, but fixable. Work slow and try to find a comfortable pace of looking them in the eyes for a few words, then glancing away while still in the conversation. It is much more organic and a good place to start. It will take practice, but the main thing is to find the balance between focusing on solid eye contact and actually paying attention to what is being said

  6. I do the same. My therapist said that’s a sign of ADHD and eventually wanted me to get tested.

  7. What do you mean by “anymore”? You used to, and then suddenly not? You must investigate what happened that changed it.

  8. Are you autistic? It’s very common for us. For me, it just feels way too intimate and if I do it for long I get overwhelmed, unless it’s someone I’m very close with.

    But. If you look at someone’s eyebrows or the bridge of their nose, they will think you’re looking at them.

  9. Eh, give some eye contact, look away in a gesture and then momentarily return eye contact. I don’t like holding eye contact for too long, it feels too intimate.

  10. Sometimes I have a difficult time making eye contact with strangers and I glance away from them. It’s like a confidence, low self-esteem, issue I’ve been working on.

  11. ive got the same problem. try looking in between their eyes rather than directly at them, that one saved me a LOT in customer service.

    u could also just watch their eyebrows or glasses frames (if they have them) or anything like that. i look at my friends eyeliner a lot, too, instead of actual eye contact.

    nothin wrong with avoiding eye contact tho imo. i just try to mimic it for the sake of others, cuz people get weird.

  12. How does it feel to look yourself in the eyes in the mirror? Could help to practice that way

  13. Bro when i do make eye contact it feels like im glaring at them 👁👁 i feel your pain hang in there 🫡

  14. i dont make eye contact often unless im faking an interest in whats being said

    ive alot of trauma inflicted by humans awful creatures

    id rate humanity -36,000 out of 10

  15. For me, it’s either intense starting ( feels like it) or zero eye contact. Both feel awkward, both make me feel like a psychopath

  16. This is bcoz of lack of confidence start talking to yourself in the mirror this will help you build confidence and whenever you talk to someone follow 60:40 rule means you just have to look into their eyes for the 40 percent of time while talking…it is difficult but really effective

  17. Lots of cultures consider direct eye contact to be disrespectful.

    You do whatever you need to.

  18. Used​ to​ be​ like​ this​ until​ some​ people​ said​ i​ look​ kinda scary.​ So, nowadays​ i​ give​ people​ dead​eyes​ instead, help​ a​ ton with​ my​ anxiety​ when​ no​ one​ want​ to​ interact with​ you.

  19. If it helps and the other person is far away, you can get away with looking at just the face in general and that can help sometimes

  20. It’s totally okay I do the same because people like us are not sociable and also I can’t start a convo.

  21. Might sound weird but I fixed my diet and was able to hold more consistent eye contact. I don’t know how or why but that’s what did it. Maybe the inflammation it was causing my body was giving me subtle anxiety somehow?

  22. Try to make eye contact with strangers for at least 1 second whilst walking in public. You’ll find most aren’t look at you either and are looking at their phones also.

  23. aah, the beloved “eye contact” subject arises again.

    Okay, I got you:

    Look in someone’s eyes and then look away when you talk. Try to make it relevant. For example, if you are making a strong point, look in their eyes (maybe move your hands too), when you’re not, then look away.

    When they talk, look in their eyes and nod. Don’t forget to blink

    P.S. If you find yourself stuck in someone’s eyes, in that uncomfortable moment, don’t lose it. Turn it in your favor. I write about these issues all the time on my [blog](https://socialdynamicsacademy.com/), so be sure to come and check that too. The trick is: Look in their other eye and playfully smile as if you’re having an internal joke. Don’t say anything just smile and move on.

  24. It depends on who I am talking to.

    Some people make eye contact with me in a way that is somewhat creepy, so I won’t maintain the contact.

  25. Depression or anxiety from isolation.

    Have you been spending a lot of time alone? I find when I do I fall into a bit of a pit and this is one of the noticeable difficulties when I try to re integrate and be social.

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