Has my spouses gambling ended of my marriage?

7 years ago I married my husband. Prior to getting married we dated for 4 years, lived together, did everything together. I thought he was absolute perfection. We didn’t fight at all and were so happy. Unfortunately, 8 weeks before our wedding I got a call from his brother telling me that he had a gambling addiction he was hiding from me and the family thought he was spiraling out of control. I was shocked. But I was so in love that I acted out of compassion, told him I would help him get help and we would move forward.
A year in after having our first baby he filed for bankruptcy (while refusing to tell me how he acquired all the debt or how much he accumulated), and hit rock bottom again while trying to hide it from me. I started becoming a massive ball of anxiety since that broke my trust, and I basically lost myself. I became a stay at home mom and have spent the last 5 years on absolute edge at every move he makes fearing that he’s lying and being deceitful. He has never allowed me to look at his phone, always telling me I’m crazy. Well, this treatment has truly MADE me crazy and I haven’t been able to be a good nurturing wife.
There have been instances of him working “late” where I have eventually discovered he was actually at a casino, yet when I confront him he becomes accusatory that I’m “not allowing him privacy”. My resentment and fear over being lied to again has caused us to drift apart majorly. While I still love him to death, I haven’t been able to allow him in fully because of the trust issues. In turn, He uses that against me claiming that he can’t be good to me until I trust him (while making no efforts to promote trust whatsoever). Well, after getting that annual gut feeling that gambling was happening again this past month, I did my digging and discovered that he’s having an emotional affair with a woman he does business with. I acted in RAGE when I discovered the texts and he quickly deleted them so I couldn’t read more than one days conversation, and is now blaming me for the affair. I spent a week in agony begging him to tell me the truth and he gaslit me, so I filed for divorce. He’s done nothing to apologize, nor does he even seem bothered. Tell me why I am regretting filing? Is this some sort of trauma bond I have and I can’t see past all the ways he disrespected me? I feel like I’m grieving a death and keep remembering the good old days wondering what happened to him?