So I’m mentally ill severely and everyone says that my problems are my own making. I recently got kicked by another therapist cause her practice is shutting down. I can’t seem to find another therapist cause I went through every one of them in the area. My best friend hasn’t been here much for me lately and it has caused me to go crazy and do crazy things. Combining the lack of support from my bestfriend and the lack of a therapist has caused me to go crazy and make violent threats online and over the phone. I got pending charges and it is all my best friend’s fault cause he wasn’t there for me when I need him which caused me to make these threats. I have suicidal thoughts currently and sometimes I think that I’m better off dead cause everyone hates me. I just don’t get why everyone says that my problems are of my own making. How is it my fault when others aren’t there for me ???
7 comments
No one else is responsible for your actions or your mental health. It sucks about your therapists, though I wonder why you’ve gone through all in the area, but your insistence that this is your best friend fault and your refusal to take any responsibility for yourself is the answer to your own question.
No no no, everything we do and the way we process information is never abundant fault but ours. Short of hallucinations, even mental illness outbursts our own actions, nobody else. Especially if we say things if so and so were there… that only makes since if you’re waiting on gepetto. So if was there then you could have controlled yourself, what if he dies tomorrow, that your next excuse? How long can you use that to justify you not taking accountability for your actions? Keep doing what you’re doing and it’s a dangerous road, especially for people like us!
I’m sorry you are struggling hard. At the end of the day you cannot blame somebody else for making violent threats etc. the words came out of your mouth and you are therefore responsible for them. Somebody not being there for you might have made you feel abandoned, rejected, angry… but that does not excuse making violent threats. Your friend did not cause this and it’s unfair to blame him. You did it. And that is probably why you hear that it’s your own fault.
Now I understand you are very ill. So it must feel unfair to be blamed for it. I’m sorry you do not seem to get the treatment you need. Have you considered getting yourself committed?
You are responsible for your own actions. Not your best friend. Your friend isn’t your therapist either. He is not responsible for your actions. It’s not his fault you made violent threats. **That’s your fault**. And only your fault.
I think that what they mean is, you can’t blame others being there or not for whatever condition you have.
Unless they’re your chaperon you are paying to ‘babysit you, they can’t always be there… Especially if you seem to drain lots of energy from folks around you.
If you do something bad while they’re not there, not necessarily your fault, depending on how severe your mental condition is, but it certainly is not on them.
About your therapist that is weird that they shut down and simply not refer/transfer you elsewhere or for your own sake admit you in an establishment that can help.
They normally can’t just let you be because they’re shutting down.
I’m not familiar with your condition, but normally yes, everything you do (unless it’s clinically verified it is impossible for you to control yourself when left alone) is on you, not your friends.
It seems you are using your friendships to justify your ‘going crazy’ moments. And that doesn’t stand legally.
And if confirmed you can’t be alone, again, your therapist should’ve organized something.
What happened that you went through all the therapists in the area, what makes that you went to all of them and didnt stay?
Also, how should people like you if you’re causing trouble? At least that’s how what you said reads.
[Here are some of the things I do, some of the things I say to myself when I am really feeling abandoned and alone. I hope I’m not overstepping. I hope they help; they’re just things that happened to work for me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSDNextSteps/comments/jplbcb/second_attempt_at_bravery_im_posting_my_personal/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
*It’s no one else’s job to manage your mental health except You.* Yes, it’s ideal and possible to have friends or family as part of your support system, but ultimately, they should support *a healthy, chosen path to wellness*, not the whole of you.
In those times when we feel like no one that understands us, or no one sticks around when we seemingly need them the most, there are still so many ways we can nurture and be gentle with ourselves. We support ourselves the way we wish a friend or parent would. Loving distractions + self care. It’s possible to fill that dull, cold void all on our own ♥️
*Sending you lots of love. I’m glad you’re here.*
“I got pending charges and it is all my best friend’s fault cause he wasn’t there for me when I need him which caused me to make these threats.”
Because you CHOSE to make those threats. Your friend didn’t force you to.
You’re blaming them because you still can’t accept responsibility for your actions.