I(M20) have been sorta cheated on 3 times since July. In July I had just come out, I am recovering addict, and my ex (M18, 2½ year relationship)had woke me up to tell me that he needed help because he had made out with J(F18), and they needed my help to tell J’s partner.
J broke up and ex and J tried to have a relationship while me and ex were together still. But that crashed and burned violently.
We broke up within 3 weeks after thatnand he moved into my other room and lives with me still. I then met S.(F25) (3 month relationship) S is also a recovering addict and we got together within a week of meeting because of how we met and how close we got in a short time.
It was kind of a friends with benefits thing because at the time we were both in open relationships.
S ended up moving in with me by the end of August.
At that same time I met a new friend C(M19)
Me, Ex, S, and C were all really close. We often all cuddled and just affectionate as friends.
Around that time S had made out with C , and had not told me that day, Ex knew, said nothing to me.
I found out when I saw it in front of me as if it’s old news. I had an issue with it because of C being even younger then me and in fragile situation. So it never progressed further.
My situation with S is already difficult for obvious reasons and I feel like I often have to fight for any affection from S and I often don’t get affection just for me, but that’s shared usually with my Ex.
Once again I had seen S in these shared cuddling sessions kissing one of my younger friends, my EX, in FRONT OF ME. My ex is soposed to be my best friend, I had told THAT DAY how I felt trapped not knowing how my relationship was gonna be long-term. I had litterly threatened both Ex and S if ever found out something happened between them that it would be seriously not pretty.
They had apparently been kissing like that when I wasn’t around for over 2 days. S didn’t think I’d have an issue with it but immediately felt bad and took action to not progress it (like the first time).
Ex thought about his actions constantly but didn’t tell me. Wanted to, but didn’t. He said he cared but clearly not enough.
Both S and ex live with me, I don’t have my own space, I share a bed with S and I can’t even process my pain of the 3 betrayals that I didn’t come down hard enough on clearly. I don’t know what to do.
Kicking them out would be disastrous. S doesn’t have a job, ex’s best option would be to go back to abusive family.
I don’t see that making me feel better despite my friends (the ones that don’t suck clearly) telling me I should rain hell.
I just need guidance or reissuance or something. I know they both feel bad, but for some reason it’s MY JOB to figure out what they can do to make up for it?? Idk I’m clearly an idiot or something.
What actions should I take if any?
TLDR: my ex cheated on me, my current partner kissed my friend in front of me, now my ex and current partner are making out in front of me.
5 comments
You should cleanse yourself of this drama. None of these people have your best interests at heart. You told them explicitly what you did not want to happen and it did.
It is not your problem where anyone else ends up living. That is not relevant to you living your best life. Get into some therapy and put yourself first.
My brother in christ, you don’t have to house the ex that cheated on you and you shouldn’t be moving anyone in at three months, holy hell. If they needed housing that bad they wouldn’t have bitten the hand that feeds.
This sounds like a flop house. Get some new roommates
>Kicking them out would be disastrous. S doesn’t have a job, ex’s best option would be to go back to abusive family.
That is their problem, not yours. Why are you putting yourself last for people that have no respect for you and your boundaries?
All this drama is needless. You already know what you need to do. Get your stuff together and organize your life the way you want it to be. Stop being a victim of your ‘circumstances’–circumstances that you alone control.
re: What actions should I take if any?
Jim: I’d google: self worth, self respect and self esteem and get to work IMPROVING YOURS – ASAP. You are a sitting duck for anyone who wants to use/abuse you all because you have little or no self respect nor any defenses against USERS.