So earlier today my gf went out with her mates and when she came back she told me that she played spin the bottle and I got a bit upset and she stressed out because I acted the way I did, I don’t know how to feel, she said she kissed friends and strangers, did she cheat on me? How am I supposed to feel? I feel sick, I have a headache, my chest hurts. When I asked her if her friends played spin the bottle again, would she do it again also, and she plainly said yes. That really hurt me and I don’t know what to do. Perhaps I am overreacting, due to the fact that the told me instead of hiding it Thanks in advance
TL;DR my gf played spin the bottle and kissed people. Idk how to feel or what to do
6 comments
Do the two of you have an agreement that she is allowed to kiss other people?
You have to decide if you want a gf who kisses other people or not. Either way is totally fine.
But if you decide you don’t want a gf who kisses other people, you’re dating the wrong person.
No closet hanky panky?
Kissing sounds harmless enough, but you should discourage her from repeat participation.
You could do one of two things. You could sit her down and have a discussion about boundaries and what you’re willing and not willing to tolerate in a relationship- explain to her how hurt that it made you feel that she was comfortable to kiss anyone other than you even if they were friends and strangers and that you don’t feel like that’s what people should do in a monogamous relationship. Would she be okay with you kissing random people? Even if you knew them?
Be aware though that with this decision she now may just change her behaviors around you- she could still be out and about doing these things but choosing to not tell you and now you have to decide if it’s worth the pain of wondering what your girlfriend is up to everyday since she broke trust so early in your relationship.
The second option is to just end it now. I highly doubt that she’ll understand any of that ^^^ if she’s already expressed that she would gladly play the game and repeat her actions.
I’m sorry this happened and good luck!
You’ve identified a boundary of yours. Share it with the expectation and understanding that in life, there are natural consequences to our everyday choices.
Sitting in a circle kissing strangers sounds like a super strong peer pressure moment that not many 17 year olds are confident enough to walk away from. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that she made a decision to participate in something that made you question your trust in her. She should know that.
Anticipate that you’ll be emotional during this conversation and that she will likely be also. No one likes to be called out on a mistake. And this was a big mistake. Your call if she gets to try again.
For me personally a kiss means a lot. I’m surprised seeing people talking about it like it’s something normal to do while in a relationship where you presumably love your so. In my book it’s cheating, and the more she will do it the more serious things she’ll start to do with other people. If you can handle that maybe you should consider being in an open relationship with her.