So I’m 24 yrs old and I’m having a hard time knowing that people are judging me based on how I walked and talk. I’m not talking too much about taking it personally or caring. It’s more about the fact that I was taught opposite. From the age of 5, I was taught that people were open books and my judgemental attitude was the problem.
Every day, I was told not to judge and a “man who has friends, show themselves friendly”. So i had problems with other kids picking on me. However, I always won their respect since I stood my ground. I never thought anything of it until today.
Now as adult, people don’t give me the same lead way. They judge very quickly and use my weaknesses to exploit me. Even good people, think im up to something because Im not judgmental. It takes them even longer to realize I really don’t know.
It always catching me by surprise because I was taught that the world isn’t judgemental. “Looks don’t matter” “Be yourself”. I feel lied to. My worldview is shot and I’m having cognitive dissonance trying to be rude to those who deserve it. Its hard to trust my family members who adamantly push me to think this way. They even deny facts that show others are judgemental a holes. They won’t teach any assertive behavior. In fact, they told me assertiveness is being rude!
How can I cope and become better at judging the world for what it is.
2 comments
Assume everyone is a twat and keep your distance accordingly, that’s how I get by
I identify with this 100%. People don’t like it because you’re a reminder of their own rudeness. So many people are rude and judgmental so when someone like you comes around, it throws them off. I say ignore it and continue being yourself. People have been mean to me for this very reason. It happens all the time but soon enough if I stand my ground and don’t give in and become like them, they actually change. People start being nice and opening up to me. Telling me their darkest traumas and then they will be confused how they felt comfortable telling me. They’ll have nothing bad to say about me because I give them no ammo. I mean people can say I’m awkward but that’s it. People figure out I’m genuinely a good person eventually. If someone has a problem with me, it really is all about them bc I won’t stoop to their level. Of course don’t let people walk all over you. You don’t have to give everyone access to you. You’re a light in a dark world. Don’t let other’s darkness dim you. Just shine brighter. People like you make the world a better place.