I (24f) applied for a job near my bf’s (26m) hometown few days ago. I finished college and recently started looking for a job. I saw they are hiring in that city and after a lot of thinking, I applied and told my bf not to mention it to his parents until I was sure they will hire me. I am really anxious about the whole process and it is a lot easier when nobody asks me “how’s it going, got any news, did they call you, etc”. I told my friends I will tell them as soon as I had some news and they respect that.
Just to be clear, I LOVE his parents, they are really nice and ever since I met them, they think of me as a daughter.
However, he told them I applied and we will be moving, and now they are already ecstatic we are coming and they are getting everything ready for us, asking every day if I got the job jet. I realise it is because they are happy and excited, but now I’m five times more anxious because the job didn’t even call me jet.
I’m pissed and he thinks it’s not fair, he was just being excited.
8 comments
I can see how this could have been a mistake on his end, and if you CAN forgive him, it might be worth it.
But it is also worth sitting down and telling him “I specifically asked you to NOT tell anyone anything about this. You didn’t respect that and I feel more anxious about things now.”
If/when his parents ask you about it, act shocked and say “I asked him not to say anything yet because it’s not set in stone, so let’s not discuss that right now if that’s ok with you”. Throws him under the bus but in a non-harmful way.
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What he did was disrespectful, and more importantly a violation of your trust. The problem is you can no longer trust him not to blab what you tell him to others. Make that clear to him.
How many other things will he tell them that you ask him not to? This is a huge deal for me.
Who’s jet?
I see he signed himself up for reporting all updates on your job. You don’t have to say anything to them
This is going to be your life as long as you’re with him. If you get pregnant, if you find out the gender of your (nonexistent) baby, etc. Anytime you want to keep something quiet, you already know you can’t trust him to not say anything.
You don’t even have an interview and he told his parents you are moving there?
He has to fix it. He is wrong saying he was just excited. So he is not going to keep ANYTHING from people when he is excited? So you’ll have to keep secrets because he cannot keep his mouth shut?