I’m independent from my birth parents entirely. They were @bus!ve in every sense of the word and I only keep in touch with them because my grandmother is a truly wonderful person who helped me through the toughest bits. She herself doesn’t like them one bit but feels a moral obligation to keep them as part of the family, which I understand and respect. I however feel no such obligation, so once she’s gone (god willing not for a while), I’m out with those two for good.
But yeah, one of the many, many, MANY shitty things my parents believed was infertile people are inherently bad people and so are their families, and they are all being punished by god for being awful people. I found out I was infertile through a medical rabbit hole after a doctor’s appointment for an entirely unrelated issue.
Am I upset I can’t procreate? Not really. Im only just now getting into the dating scene at 28 with only middling success, in large part thanks to the way I was raised. I mean yeah I’m a little disappointed but I’m also relieved, and I can always adopt. When I told my grandma we had a good laugh about it.
But yeah, my parents are shit so how can I tell them in a way that’ll really sting?
20 comments
Ask your grandma, she probably has some choice words you can use.
Why wait until she is dead?
Do what’s best for you. Anyone that really loves you will respect that decision no matter what they think of the said people.
I don’t talk to my mom or my grandmother anymore because of how they treat me. But I still have a relationship with both of my sisters.
Well first they are deranged. And second do you really think if there is a God he gives a shit about the people who can’t have kids??!!!
Please. It is how you are made. No fault of yours. And my sister could not have kids so if your parents believe she is the devil spawn. Well I got something for them. Yours truly, Lucifer
Why do you have to tell them?
I think you do it joyously while wearing your Satanic ritual garb and leading a pure white kid on a cotton rope.
Wow, seems I belong to a club, I didn’t even know existed.
First of all, you don’t have to tell them anything at all. Period. They straight-up don’t need to know.
If you feel like taking the petty way out though, tell them god has cursed you with infertility because God wanted to punish them directly for their misdeeds in how they treated you. Play their own game and win.
I feel like I’m a horrible person for encouraging this, but go super far into their beliefs. Leave satanic stuff at their house and manufacture bad omens or whatever.
Come to them screaming and crying that you had a vision from God – your infertility issue is a divine punishment for their sins. They fucked up their bloodline so much that God demanded that it ended with you.
Put this on blast at their church. Get them excommunicated or some shit.
Why do you have to tell them at all? And who cares if they think you’re a bad person, it doesn’t sound like their approval is high on your list of priorities anyway.
Just tell them they failed at raising you, because you are an evil bitch. Own the title with pride.
Your grandma sounds awesome, the two of you can laugh at them, especially when they have to tell their church friends how badly they must have failed you. They raised a daughter who is being punished by God, because they didn’t teach you to be good.
Revel in the fact that it will look bad to their community, because you don’t care.
You can tell them to fuck off if they ask. Literally it’s your body, your business.
I wouldn’t tell them anything. It’s none of their business and if they’re going to be idiots about it even less reason
Why tell them? They don’t need to know and it isn’t their business.
If they ask just say: “I’m not thinking about having children right now. I’m focusing on my career/self/partner/charity work/saving money for a home/ saving money for home improvements”
You are already giving them too much power by worrying about them and their feelings.
> I found out I was infertile through a medical rabbit hole after a doctor’s appointment for an entirely unrelated issue.
First off, obligatory “don’t count your chickens until they don’t hatch.”
Second, why in the seven hells would you tell your parents anything about your life, especially something like this? You know that a) they will only care if they can use it to look down on or judge you, and b) they *will* use it to look down on and judge you.
They will absolutely find a way to weasel their way out of any negative implications about themselves because *they* are righteous god-fearing people so it must be that *you* are being punished for being a dirty heathen and not growing up to be a religious nutjob like them.
Going back to the first point, can you imagine the level of undeserved smug that they would get if you told them and then somehow had a child?
I understand the desire to get one over on your parents, but this is a thing that you should keep between you and your grandma as your own little in-joke on them. That will be much more satisfying than anything that comes from telling your parents outright.
It’s up to you, but as satisfying as it would be in the moment to tell them, their reaction is likely to be unsatisfying, difficult and frustrating. Awful people are really good at being hypocritical and dodging the consequences of their actions.
I would keep it as your private secret that boosts you up during family gatherings- something to internally smirk about each time they get irritating. It can remind you how little power they have over you.
If you do decide to tell them, I hope you tell them for you, rather than to reform or punish them. That will make it much more fulfilling in the end.
Honestly? I don’t think there is a way to tell them something like that in a way that will “sting” them. If they’re abusive, what is more likely to happen is that they will turn your infertility back onto you and say that you’re a bad person and that god is punishing you (I feel the need to add that that is not true btw).
If you really want to say something along those lines, I guess that you can say that you’ve decided to never give them grandchildren? It’s a “choice” you’re making then. Tho I feel like if they’re truly terrible, you wouldn’t want any children exposed to them regardless.
What horrible people who revel in the misfortune of others.
Simple, you don’t
Tell them “I guess you guys raised a bad person”
Very simple. Don’t tell them. The end