So basically him and I are dating and I went over to his place and we were hanging out and proceeded to make out and do everything but sex. So at this point he was on top of me and tried to put it in and he thought he was in andd I told him to stop and he did. Also he was high and took a weed pill. Keep in mind I’ve never done anything before and he is the first person I’ve done stuff with. After that night I can over other two nights and he’d initiate and I wouldn’t want to completely so for example he’s put his hand under my shirt when we were watching a movie and cuddling and I eas like “Uhh why are you under my shirt “ and he was like “oh I can’t be okay then what do you want is this fine” and he just proceddd to stop and I was like yeah. Then we started to kiss and he put it under my shirt again. Same happend with my pants that first night before he tried to slip it in he kept trying to take them off and I said no each time but he would say “oh so I can feel your butt better” and stop trying then try again till I gave in. So this is a pattern. I ended up blocking him for this reason but he apologize but seemed like he didn’t truly know why he was in the wrong and didn’t see what he did as corrosion. And finally after his 3rd apology he said he understood why and was apologetic and said we would let have to hang out at his place and just go out instead. (Keep in mind before all this he’s taken me on one date then one hangout. And during this before I ended stuff when I can over we went on a date). So back to the story we start ft/calling again but I honestly felt that this is something I shouldn’t forgive or if anything I shouldn’t start a relationship off like this so I ended it. Now he’s given me space but after I ended it he texted me randomly 2 weeks later a meme and I responded and we talk then he left me on read. Thennn he texted my like another 2 weeks later we talk and he left me on read. Then he texted me a week after that invited me to a theater show platonically. I responded a day later just saying how he’d found it and he responded saying he keeps in touch with those stuff but he’s no longer going so nvm. So my question is is this something I should try and salvage , I do like him but given the circumstances is this something I should forgive? Need advice thanks! Cause I legit do not have dating experience.
TLDR: guy I was getting to know kinda coerced me into doing sexual related stuff. He also tried to put it in at one point when we were doing stuff btw he was high on a weed pill. He said he didn’t realize it was that and that he thought I was just being shy since it was my first time. Anyway he apologized 3 times and finally got to the conclusion that he was in the wrong by his 3rd apology. I somewhat forgave him but ended things since he wanted a relationship and I thought I shouldn’t start a relationship off that way. Thoughts if I should continue with him?
2 comments
Nope. Do not go back to him. Find someone who asks first.
I don’t think he did anything wrong. He attempted to escalate physical romantic contact that you were both engaging in. This is very normal at your ages and when you hesitated and told him no he immediately stopped and apologized. There’s nothing to “forgive” him for.
If you are opposed to sex you need to use your words to tell him that. Be very clear in person or via text whatever you’re comfortable with EXACTLY what you want and don’t want. If you’re only ok with kissing then tell him that. If you’re ok with kissing and some touch, but not sex tell him that very clearly.
Also this isn’t coercion. You’re dating and it doesn’t seem like he was pressuring you to do anything against your will. He just seems confused as to whether you want to be sexual with him or not. If you’re a virgin and not ready for sex you need to say “I’m a virgin and I’m not ready for sex with you. I will let you know when/if I feel like I’m ready for that”.