How do you tell a woman respectfully that you want to have casual sex with her when stating your intentions?

41 comments

  2. Simple:

    “I’m interested in casual sex with you, but I’m not looking for a relationship or anything more than that.”

  3. Just be clear with your intentions and don’t lead us on to think you want more than casual sex

  4. Say you’re only looking for a physical relationship and that you will only proceed if she feels the same.

    I wouldn’t use any cliché phrases like “no strings attached/nothing serious” as I think some people have got into their head that these translate to “I don’t want it, but maybe you can change my mind” from romcoms

  7. To be frank: if she’s looking for something more, she’s going to be upset. Doesn’t matter how respectful you are.

    That being said, be clear that you’re not looking for something serious right now , or just don’t see her as more than a friend but you’d be down to be physical.

    Be clear though, because some women will try to wait out a “I’m not ready right now””I just got out of a relationship” etc.

  9. I wish my current f-buddy would have told me that he just wants to keep it casual and fun. Instead, he kind of confused me and we never really talked about it but because of my own issues, our current arrangement does not bother me anyway. Communication is key. Just thought I’d shared my perspective as someone currently with a f-buddy lmao

  11. Have you already been physical with her? I’m assuming this is about a real situation and not hypothetical. It’s important you express these types of things before you even become intimate. If you know it’s going to lead to something physical, just be honest right away. It’s the best thing you can do. I say this from experience. It doesn’t feel good to be told this after being physically intimate and being given signs you in fact did want a relationship. Honesty is the best policy

  12. You just tell her you’re looking for something casual and not interested in pursuing a relationship. It’s not rocket science.

  13. I (F) agree with the straightforward, “I’m only interested in casual sex, not a relationship, at this time” is the best way to go. I’d also suggest adding that you’re not looking for a relationship with anyone right now, not just her (if this is true). To me, it would help soften any thoughts that you didn’t think of me as “girlfriend” material.

  17. “I’m not interested in you as a person, I’d just like to get laid – respectfully, of course.”

  20. You seem to have a problem with women blocking you instead of using words. A lot of women have said ‘no thanks, not what I’m looking for’ only to be ignored. They get tired of not being heard and go straight for the block.

  23. You simply tell her that while you are attracted to her, you are not looking for a relationship and would like to go the more FWB route. If she says that’s not what she wants, you respect that and look for someone else. But, chances are, she will appreciate the honesty.

  25. Your looking to have some fun but dont wanna get into a relationship, takes the fun away. So let’s just be friends who bang.
    Easy.

  27. You should ask in person and my suggestion is to use the Friends with Benefits words. Adds too much creepiness in the texting before meeting situations. Come on guys!

  28. Just be clear about it. I get fed up of guys referring to ‘having fun’ when what they mean is sex. For me, ‘fun’ is also a nice dinner date.

  29. I mean, just because you can say it respectfully doesn’t mean that it’ll be received as a respectful thing to ask.

    Considering all of the misogyny we are raised with, a good number of women will find it very offensive, and take it very personally.

    Even if you do manage to convey this in the most classy way possible, I suggest you give the person you’re asking space to be a person, to react, and not judge her for it. There’s just so much pressure to be ‘mature’ and ‘cool’ about things you’re not okay with.

  30. Just say that and be up front from the beginning. People don’t like to be led on so the longer you leave that conversation the more disingenuous you look.

  31. Seek out women you know are interested in casual sex and ask if they’d be interested in pursuing something casual with you. And respect their response, whatever it is.

    In your comments, you mention being straight up blocked, so I’m going to assume you’re likely asking the wrong people.

  32. ….literally just tell her. What would be considered disrespectful is if you dont communicate this and lead her to believe other wise so just say “I enjoy sleeping with you, I would like it to stay casual, I don’t want to peruse anything beyond friends with benefits”

  33. “I’m not looking for anything serious, and only looking for something casual”

    say that usually when you have a successful first date. Make sure that intention is known early on before you sleep together so she can make the decision if it’s something she would want to do or move on. Worst is she’s not interested in something casual and doesn’t want to see you after a first date but will respect you for at least giving the heads up. Best is she is down and knows she cannot take you seriously.

  35. “ I think I should tell u that I am only interested in casual sex I’m not interested it any relationships if that’s not what u want or what ur looking for I completely understand but I hope u understand that I’m not trying to come off rude just not interested in any relationships “

    That? 🤷‍♀️

  36. “I am looking for something casual and unattached. This isn’t a reflection of my thoughts or perceived value of you, or women in general but more so a reflection of where I currently am in my life. It is all I can offer and I owe it to us both to be as transparent as possible. I don’t want anything that is founded on anything less than understanding and communication.”

  37. Just say, “I just want someone to use for sex when it’s convenient for me, feelings are NOT welcomed and you must be okay with me meeting other women for the same thing”. Be as clear as possible and since your trying to get easy no strings sex, don’t try to be the friendly guy, it’s just not honest

  41. You: “I’m only looking for casual sex.”

    Her: “I’m not interested in casual sex.”

    You: “Totally respect that, have a great day.”

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