TLDR at bottom.
My recent gf is on Xanax and Zoloft. She has anxiety and depression, but I’m skeptical of the need for medication because she has never had any kind of therapy. just went straight to a psychiatrist a couple years ago who immediately put her on a high dose of meds (she gets 90mg Xanax a month for instance).
Anyways. I feel kinda cornered because I’ve been going through a LOT with my work and family, but she’s always talking about how stressed she is and I don’t really feel space to add on my problems.
Early on it was ok, but now this dynamic is getting really tiresome. I’ve communicated all of these feelings, and my gf did listen. But then she started crying bc her ex had the same issue I’m describing and it was giving her ptsd etc etc.
Has anyone been through something similar? Any advice?
I’ve had my heart broke so many times that I want to try and make this work because I do really like the girl. She’s very smart pretty and funny. I just don’t want this to be the way our relationship is forever. We’ve been dating about 6 months.
TLDR: gf has so many problems I don’t feel room to talk about my own. Advice?
3 comments
I won’t do it anymore.
You can’t have a healthy relationship with someone who isn’t mentally healthy
When I was younger I had a huge blind spot in relationships. I basically felt that it was my responsibility to keep the plates spinning and keep them happy. My needs weren’t relevant to them and by proxy, to me. This isn’t healthy. You have to ask yourself, what am getting from my partner? Is this what I need? When you’re in a relationship it is your responsibility to be a good partner and frankly most of that is transferrable to any relationship. Outside of few small tweaks here and there, you do you. If that doesn’t work then the relationship doesn’t work.
My recent gf is on Xanax and Zoloft. She has anxiety and depression, but I’m skeptical of the need for medication because she has never had any kind of therapy. just went straight to a psychiatrist a couple years ago who immediately put her on a high dose of meds (she gets 90mg Xanax a month for instance).
And? You don’t get to decide that AT ALL, it’s her choice & decision to be on medication & therapy isn’t for everyone either & this is coming from someone who is in therapy.
Anyways. I feel kinda cornered because I’ve been going through a LOT with my work and family, but she’s always talking about how stressed she is and I don’t really feel space to add on my problems.
Did she say you can’t talk about your problems? Is it only you that’s allowed to vent? You do realise people with mental illness struggle every day & will vent more than you neurotypicals.
But then she started crying bc her ex had the same issue I’m describing and it was giving her ptsd etc etc
There’s is not enough info to go off here, like were you being condescending about her illness? Because judging from this entire post you seem to be quite ableist & lack a lot of knowledge on this subject.
Honestly from someone who is mentally ill & im also dating someone who is mentally ill, do this poor girl a favour and set her free, from what I’m seeing here you seem to be making her feel awful about herself & making her illness all about you.