I’ve always been told men are less likely to approach a woman who’s very attractive out of intimidation or lack of confidence. Like assuming she already has many suitors and getting discouraged or something. Thoughts ?

34 comments

  1. It’s not that we don’t approach attractive women, we only approach receptive women and generally speaking very attractive women also tend to be a bit less receptive probably from dealing with guys fawning over them.

  2. For me its not lack of confidence or intimidation, its just being realistic. Its the same reason I don’t play the lottery or go to the casino when I get invited.

  4. We’re also less likely to approach unattractive women.

    We’re gonna approach attractive women who have given a sign that they want to be approached. If you dont make an effort to signal that you’re available, you likely wont be approached regardless of how attractive you are.

  6. Overtly attractive women attract a lot of attention, are usally surrounded by a lot of people so its a hard task to approach them. Unless youve got the charismatic charm like the character Will Smith plays in HITCH then there’s 0 possibility of even having a shot.

  7. No. Everyone I know who is hot gets flirted with constantly. If you don’t, then you are not attractive, or are hiding at home.

  10. I’m married and past the age of caring but when I was young I was very attractive not going to lie and I was mostly approached by dickheads. It seemed the only men to approach had issues. I met my husband and became his friend before we got involved so I knew him well.

  12. Most really attractive women aren’t worth it imo. First, they tend to have super high standards, and second, they’re usually shallow people. Guess the same goes for really attractive men

  13. Yep. I don’t even approach average girls because I know they are all in a relationship already and even if they aren’t, I know I’m not good enough.

  14. i have trouble approaching anyone but attractive women especially even talking to a cashier i find attractive terrifies me

  16. Depends. If you get IOI/green light then sure. Cold approach, which i assume you mean? tough. A confident dude wont gaf and will shoot his shot anyway. if he fails doesnt matter. intimidation tho? for sure plays a role. lack of confidence? that too. attractive women most likely are flirted with a lot, so some guys just dont try based on that, which is funny. standing out can be tough, but if youre smooth and confident i dont think thats an issue tbh. like in clubs or the like, there can be an extremely hot girl alone and no one approaches her until one dude finally does then they all finally go in. just boils down to the guy tbh.

  17. Knew my BF for nearly 2 years before we actually asked me out. I thought he just wasn’t into me. He later told me he assumed I was already in a relationship bc “there was no way a girl like that would be single”. Little did he know I was actually always the perpetually single friend!

  20. We don’t approach you because we assume you’re already taken. Ladies it is now on you to approach, times have changed!

  22. In my experience the more attractive a woman is the more subtle she is when trying to show a guy she likes him. So for me it took a while to see when hotter women were interested and wanted me to approach them.

  23. Yes!!!!! I am an attractive woman, and Guy’s never approach me. I’m kind to!

  24. I find this quite true, depending on the guy. Many people have insecurities so what you stated is definitely not wrong. I personally don’t usually get scared of approaching and attractive girl, but I will admit my first thought is that she is definitely taken especially if nothing is reciprocated or no subtle moves were made (eye contact). I also don’t want to come off as a creep either because I will assume attractive woman get a lot of attention.

    However, if eye contact and clear signs are there I’m going in especially if the attraction is mutual. But I will say, I wish more girls would be clear about showing interest. The whole “play hard to get” thing just gets old the older I get. So if you are an attractive female who isn’t scared to show interest? 10/10 🤌🏼 will definitely out-beat most competition in my book.

  26. Yes. I’ve proven that I can succeed approaching attractive women, but I’m not comfortable with it

  30. I have no desire to go after super attractive women. I’m fine, but I’m not special enough to be better or more interesting than the 100 other guys that are fawning over her.

  31. I don’t approach any woman who hasn’t provided at least one or two signals she is open to being approached, no matter the attractiveness level. I do think there may be something to the idea that more attractive women don’t feel like they have to send those signals because they probably get more than enough approaches from men anyway, it’s just that it’s probably the kind of men who feel totally cool approaching any woman (the player type).

  33. Not a man, but I assume the general trend is a bell curve. Like there’s a strong degree of conventional attractiveness that may intimidate, but you may still get more options (quantity and quality) than an “ugly” or “average” person. And a baseline level of conventional attractiveness-like a cute, “girl next door” kind I think may more likely get enough quality options.

    I think there’s also a lot more to this than just looks. As many comments pointed it all boils down to approachability. Which can be conveyed by demeanor, how one carries themselves,
    Social skills, etc. It could largely also be if you’re a “innocent” kind of attractive or a “sexualized” kind of attractive.

    A lot of these points I’m sure create a similar trend in how women may choose men, on top of the fact that due to socialization women aren’t often the pursuers of men. Tho that aspect is changing, even if slowly, I feel.

  34. I’m an introvert so I don’t have any game. I only say “hi”. That’s all I got. I like it when girls make the first move. But it’s my experience that guys will absolutely approach beautiful women. I don’t. But I’ve witnessed many guys do it. The only way they wouldn’t is if there was already 3 guys hitting on her. No attractive, intelligent man is going to be just one of a group of guys hitting on you. I would wait until the time was right. And if it’s never right?, oh well. There will always be more.

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