Men of reddit, Ideally, how far would you want to move away from your parents when ready?

37 comments

1. to start a life of your own Ideally, I would like to move away from my parents when I am ready to start a life of my own. However, circumstances may dictate otherwise.

2. When I was moving out on my own at first, i wanted to be as far away from the people and places I grew up around as possible, not because i had any problems with my family or anything, but because the world is a huge diverse place to explore. Never had any problems being thousands of miles away, a trip back home every couple years for a few weeks worked fine for me to keep up with everyone ‘back home’

3. I’ve moved countries (within Europe).. Couldn’t care less how close or far they are tbh

4. Right now I live 14 hours from my family and I’m not really a fan of that. I wish I could find work in my field closer to them.

   My preference is to be about an hour away from my parents. It’s close enough to visit each other but far enough away to discourage unannounced pop-ins.

5. I live about 20km away, perfect distance.

6. Depends on how clingy your parents are and what relationship you have with them. Me personally, im half an hour away which means I can see them whenever I want really but I only see them around once a fortnight. Its convenient and nice and we’re respectful of each others space so it works out well.

7. garlic aoli on my fries. instead of tomatoes.

8. My parents live in Western Europe and I’m about to move to Australia

9. I live around 10 miles from my family.

   For the last 20 some years, I mostly see them at weddings and funerals.

   I live my life, they live theirs.

   It’s a 2 way street and nobody was calling me, so I stopped calling on them.

10. No further than one subway station away. They are getting older and my dad just fought cancer (and won), so I don’t want to be too far away.

11. I live 8h drive /1h plane from mum.
    I hate it.
    She’s always there for me on the phone, but I know misses the grandkids terribly.
    And honestly, I just miss seeing my mum a little more.

    Sometimes, you will miss them when they’re not nearby.

12. Make it a day trip so they have to call ahead and organise themselves. Not so far that they’ll stay a couple days but enough that they have to plan it around everything else going on.

    Y’all can still visit each other when ever but with some time to prepare means the visits will be well spaced out and you can plan a day of stuff you’d both like to do

13. 12,500 miles. Why would I care about being close to my parents?

14. I love my parents, too – but I live on the other side of the country.

    I’m over 2,000 miles away from my family.

    I didn’t move away because I didn’t like them; I moved because I wanted to find myself and make a real difference in the world. Now, I get to do that every day. And when the time is right, I’ll definitely go back home. I have a feeling that’ll be in the next 3-5 years… but until then, I’m here – saving the world one misunderstood young person at a time.

15. I’m moving right next door. I’m totally happy with seeing them all the time, but I feel I need the economic independence, as well as matters such as schedules and living and storage space.

    I’m happy with my relationship with my parents, and they’d be ok with me living with them, but bit by bit it has started to feel less like my home, and more like their home with me just living there. I’d love to bring girls home when I’m dating, but I don’t want to introduce them right away to my parents. I’d like to have my friends over more often, but the living room has become generally my father’s territory, and my room is just way too full of stuff.

    An apartment is enough space between me and my parents.

16. İts not about distance, its about freedom.
    Of course I wouldn’t move next to them.
    But my choice would be where I want or best place I can afford.

17. I live about 60 km away from my parents – about a 40 minute car ride or 30 minute train ride – and I really like it that way, because we are really close and I like to spend time with them, and especially now as they are getting older it feels important to have time together. We see each other about every second to fourth weekend or so. Often we go on nature trips together as that is a common interest we have. They are also very respectful of my private life though, and never show up unannounced, which I greatly appreciate.

    I used to live about 600 km (7-8 hours) away for a while when I was younger, so then I was only able to see my parents or siblings about twice a year – that was far too long for me and I missed them a lot. I couldn’t imagine doing that anymore now.

18. Mine are like a 15 minute walk away, my partners are about 5 minutes…

    Then again, where we live ‘very far’ option would be enough time to travel pretty much anywhere in the country, plus some extra for breaks…

19. Maybe I’m biased because I still live with them and we’re in an unsafe neighborhood, but I’d say at least 2 counties over. I love my parents and would do anything for them, but the want of independence and safety causes me to wanna go as far as my car can take me

20. >I ask because I love my parents but ideally i can’t live the life I want when around them

    First, maybe you can’t under their roof but otherwise you can. You just have to choose what you want over their preferences. If you refuse to do that it’s not their fault.

    To answer your question I have lived very far away from my parents, over 7 hours by flight, and I have lived in the same city. Neither impacts my lifestyle much. I spend more time with my family when they’re closer but I don’t allow them to control my life. Their proximity doesn’t really factor into where I choose to live at this point. Maybe it would when they’re older but it’s not even something I think about when I move as of now.

21. **AS FAR AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.** Doe I will most likely just live downtown or somewhere not too far away from driving distance.

22. Hi friend, I’m looking to move out in the spring. I’ve been living with my parents for a few years post undergrad and I’m at a tipping point. It’s had it’s positives, but it’s taken a toll on my mental health for sure. I’ve been thinking about the same question for a little bit. I’m going to move ~5hrs away. Far enough that I could get away and experience something different, but close enough that I can easily come back. Just understand that this is about you. Depending on your parents age if you want to be able to help consider that.

23. I moved to Hawaii from Missouri. That kept them away. Plus both are afraid of flying. I would visit a few times a year.

24. most of my classmates from high school and college moved to as closest as they possibly can. I grew up with a dude who up and moved into the street reight behind his parents street so he only needs to walk for 10 seconds to reach his parents apartment building.

25. When I first moved out, I was 50 minutes from home.

    When I bought my first house, it was only about 25 minutes away.

    Second house, 40 minutes away.

    I have a very small family and most are deceased. I wanted to be relatively nearby in case of a medical emergency (which has happened 3 times). I also figured when I eventually started my own family, they would want to visit. Unfortunately, they did not see things the same way, and did not value having family nearby. I sort of wish I had known the outcome sooner, because I passed on some major opportunities about 1200 miles away, and now I’m rooted where I am at.

26. After graduating university I didn’t mind being far away from them while i found my own path and saw them a couple/few times a year. Now that I’m pretty settled and have a kid, I wouldn’t mind them being in the same city or a closer city so they could see their grandchild more often.

27. I moved 6 to 7 hours away. It was for a job and partially to just do something without my parents oversight. I appreciate how much I learned about myself by being away. But I am starting to look at moving home as my mother gets older and all my friends here are having kids or have moved away.

28. I moved across the country to get away from all of my family and it was the most freeing and liberating time of my life. I stood or fell on my own. I went from living in an apartment to being homeless to buying an old pinto station wagon and living in it then living in a condemned building that had been brought just up to code to finally being able to afford a nice mobile home. All w/o my family’s knowledge or help.

    I love my family a great deal but they had a lot of expectations for me to marry when I was in my early 20’s and my well meaning loving mother would bring home teenage girls from her church for me to see if they caught my eye because she wanted grand kids. I couldn’t convince her that the sweet 16 yr old girl she wanted me to meet would land me in jail if I had sex with her I was 21. I moved to stop from being forced down the alter.

29. 3.25 miles

30. My parents were killed when I was young, but I’m still close to my grandparents (emotionally and geographically)

    When they’re not around anymore I’ll probably be migrating. Japan, S.Korea, Poland, and the Scandinavian countries all seem very tempting.

31. I’d like to be as far as possible, move back in when they get old and need me to take care of them

32. It really mostly depends on your priorities. I live an hour away from my parents. But that puts me 10 minutes from my work. They would give me my space if I was closer and I would rather live in their region for other reasons but I can’t find work there and hate long commutes.

33. I’ve lived across the country or just in entirely different countries and it’s been great

34. Distance really doesn’t matter, I lived 30 minutes from my mom and we didn’t speak for a year and a half. On the other hand my dad lived 5 hours away and I talked to him often and every now and then showed up on his door step unexpectedly for lunch. You can have as much or as little of a relationship with your parents as you wish it just up to you.

35. I’ve already achieved this but back in the day where I were looking at where I wanted to do my University studies I was set on a minimum of Far away.

    I love my parents, they’re good people. But I will never live so close that mom can just pop by, or expect me to come over for dinners on the weekend.

36. My parents are both pieces of work but I love them dearly.

    They live in a suburban area outside the city and are only about a rough 27-30 minute drive away.

    My mother probably wouldn’t be able to stand it if I moved away from her, and my husband has a “man crush” on my dad so he probably wouldn’t enjoy that either

37. It’s about where’s cheap and nice