I (16m) and my girlfriend (16f) have been in a relationship for 9 months. I dont have many friends however she’s apart a large group of friends the she hangs out with most individually often. There’s a few guys in the group that she will also go hang out with to get out of the house. Her mom isn’t a big fan of me so she cant tell her that shes going to be with me so she instead hangs out with them. However she never tells me when it’ll just be her and one other guy alone and I dont know how to tell her that I’d like to be informed before she’s already left wherever they are. I dont want to say something dumb because this is my first relationship and I know she wouldn’t cheat because of how heavily it affected her childhood but I don’t know how else to feel about it.
TLDR; My girlfriend hangs out with guy friends in here friend group individually. I want to ask her to let me know before and not afterward. I dont want to make her feel like I’m accusing her of something I know she wouldn’t do.
7 comments
Yes it is controlling to ask someone to tell you where they are. She has parents to that.
She is your girlfriend, not your daughter.
Don’t listen to these other ppl Brodie it’s not wrong to ask “your” partner to let you know what’s goin on. You don’t have to be pushy but building trust is something you can do by asking questions and getting the answers you need. Adult relationships consist of this if she’s hanging out wit guys while in a relationship there is nothing wrong wit having a partner check in. She should be letting you know if she’s hanging with other guys alone and you should let her know the same. That’s a healthy relationship foo
Let me explain something, you have your boundaries and desires that have to be respected, you also don’t live with her so when she goes out her family may be aware but if you aren’t and something were to happen, you can know where to look for her last. If you feel more secure in knowing where she is then ask her to tell you, if that’s an issue for her, then break it off, better an outcome than an burnout, which is to say don’t argue about it, just make your reasonable points and if she respects you enough she will let you know. If it then becomes too much of an issue for her, then I suggest letting it be and moving on to someone that will respect those wishes, it’s not controlling to worry because it’s what you’re asking for her to be with you, it’s only controlling when you’re forcing her to do something she’s not comfortable doing.
Edit: grammar.
I couldn’t date someone who expected this of me. I wouldn’t advise my partner when I’m catching up with a girl mate, so why would I need to do so when catching up with a guy mate?
You either trust her, or you don’t. And if you don’t, you probably shouldn’t be dating her.
Don’t listen to women telling you it’s controlling. If you are in a relationship both of you should be able to compromise and set boundaries.
If a girl hangs out with dudes without letting you know, she simply doesn’t respect you. Imagine you manage to spot your gf with Kevin at a restaurant and she didnt tell you before that she’s meeting Kevin to discuss x or catch up or what.
Now because they have told you that you are controlling, you are not supposed to suspect anything or doubt because you trust her right?
Bro, bang her as much as could because she will be leaving you soon
You can join in the games and kiss all these friends and strangers too