TL;RD I’ve known this friend for 20 years and it was friendship I really valued. Over the years I felt this friendship was one sided. I’m not the only person that had felt this way about her. Other people have ended friendships with her and/or kept their distance from her after having fights with her about her behavior.
She has issues which is why I excused it for so long. She will not doing anything unless it’s what she wants do ,will not drive more than 10 minutes and will not call you unless she’s having a problem with a guy she’s dating. This behavior was really getting to me roughly 13 years ago so I decided to go my own way.
A mutual friend had expressed to me she wanted to be friends again so I decided to give our friendship another shot. My life had drastically changed so I figured maybe she changed too.
Nothing had changed the only time she would ever see me was if I was coming out to her and if we were doing something she wanted to do and that consisted of eating with her at restaurant near her house, or drinking coffee and listening to her talk about her man issues.
The last two years she’s been having issues finding a commitment from a man so our friendship has consisted of just her obsessed over that and telling me she doesn’t want to live anymore. I sat on the phone with her, drove out to her and even suggested I help find her a therapist.
She called me numerous times telling me about fights she had with other friends having the same issues with them.
I have two children and she hates kids. She refuses to have anything to do with my kids or even come to birthday party for them and this bothers me. She’s even complained about going to parties for her niece and nephew that it was getting in the way of her weekend.
She then met a man divorced with 4 kids. She wanted to go forward with a sexual relationship with him and she asked my advice. I told her the truth I said this might not be the right relationship for you. She then got angry with me and threw very personal things in my face that was definitely hitting below the belt. Things for me really changed. I no longer trusted her and wanted nothing to do with the decisions she was making and felt very betrayed.
She called me a few times after not to ask me to hang out or anything but to talk about him and I was just done. In fact I was the one that asked her to get together and she just kept making excuses as to why she couldn’t hang out. (Plans with him)
Sometimes I question if I did the right thing.
2 comments
Yes you did. Friendship is complex but one should say least have a communication in which it goes both ways, which both should genuially want. It should not be only about 1 person.
It’s a pitty and hard if it doesn’t work out even after soo many years, but it’s the way it is..
Just my opinion
You did. Friends who only take aren’t friends. You’ve taken positive action. You did the right thing.