I’m a short brown guy who struggles w weight loss all sucky traits but I’m trying to be better. I swear I’m invisible to most people until I get in the convo and then they seem to like me.

I’m tired of being this invisible loser, once I talk to people they might like me a bit more. But my buddy who’s 6’4 and white and fit and literally makes fun of people is way more attractive socially so much so that he’s slept w 18 women while dating his current girlfriend.

I am a 23M virgin who if given a chance would stick w one girl and show her the best time.

Not saying I’m better than a serial cheater and not saying I deserve to be happy or a relationship. I gotta work for that.

I just wanna stop feeling worthless because I don’t have “game” and the “it factor.” I’m just me, I think I’m funny and decently sweet, it doesn’t matter tho at my age w inexperience I’m fuckef.

Just ranting till my head has enough and I can kill myself.

15 comments

  2. Unfortunately in todays society people might look past you because of societies view on attractiveness ,, usually though you can counter that with humor,looks go out the window when youre funny and good company to be around.. Id suggest focusing on what you can do to make someone smile just because you like to see them happy. A guy that cares for others happiness is very attractive to people. So when you go out for example to a bar or something ,gather with your friends ,tell funny stories/experiences,crack a couple of jokes or just present yourself as a genuine and jolly kinda guy, people gravitate towards happy people with comfortable vibes pretty easily.

    Hope this helps!!!

    Also your homie sounds kinda like a shit head ngl (atleast to women and the people he makes fun of) and even though hes got the looks to get girls tht doesnt mean he knows how to keep em :-//

  5. You seem like a genuinely nice guy. If I were there around you, I’d totally be friends with you and not the white asshole.

    I also know how to help you feel better. Been there, done that. Hope you’re ok and safe. Let us know you’re ok

  6. Are you able to change your thinking habits to healthy thinking, so that you don’t attack yourself mentally and torture yourself? Or is this something you truly have no power over?

  7. It’s okay to be brown. Why do i keep seeing post saying guys hate being short and brown? Brown as in Indian? I know maybe there’s some stereotypes against Indian men that make dating harder but i feel like its being overstated a bit here. Maybe I’m wrong. Being brown and short doesn’t exclude you from being attractive or fit. It might make your pool to choose from smaller but i’m sure you can find some women who might enjoy the novelty of being with someone from a different culture or background.

    I’m short (5’5) and mexican/black and tan and i like it.. i know its not everyones taste but it’s cool because its what makes me myself

  8. You have to find your people. You can do only what you can do and people are going to react the way they are going to. What you can do – dress decently and look as good as you can (bathe regularly, brush your teeth), talk and act in a socially acceptable way (can be kind of hard if you’re an awkward dude, got to learn how to chit chat), find some hobbies and look to be chill friends with people around you.

    Your friend seems like a dick head. Dudes who brag about how many girls they sleep with are generally not cool people in real life. There’s a quote about how if you have to tell other people about how good you are, you’re probably no good. The people who are really good at stuff have other people telling you about how great they are.

  9. well first of all stop comparing yourself to people who have it easy socially, comparison is the thief of joy and all. in my experience people can generally sense when someone is genuinely sociable vs awkward and trying hard to say “the right thing” (which sucks ngl because i’m also struggling with this). Maybe try to become friends with a girl who’s also kind of a loner? Talking to other loners is easier imo because there isn’t as much pressure to “act normal”

  12. Get your shit together. Go to the gym, eat right, and hit the books. Take care of yourself, first and foremost, and everything else will fall into place. You’re still young, quit acting like you’re 100 years old and done with your life.

  13. People don’t ask how many people you’ve slept with before they go on a date.

    By the time the topic comes up a woman who is into you isn’t going to care.

    You are making your virginity a problem in your own head. But honestly that’s all your posts and problems. I don’t say that to be mean.

    You have decided what other people think of you before you even intact with them.

    Are there some people who won’t like you? Of course. No one is liked by everyone.

    You desperately need to go to therapy FOR A WHILE and get off the damn internet. You’ve been posting the same things for months. What’s changed? Nothing. Because you’re avoiding being honest with yourself and you’re avoiding taking any of the ample good advice youve been given.

    Why? I suspect because if you were honest with yourself you’d have to admit that all the reasons you list as why you struggle in social interactions aren’t actually the reason at all.

    It’s uncomfortable to come to terms with the fact that our obstacles are actually in our control and often of our own making. But you have to admit that to make progress. And that’s exactly what therapy is for.

    You need therapy. That’s it. That’s the whole answer.

  14. How to deal with short – Get fit woman tend to be attracted to men with muscles (from a short, fattish, white introvert)

    How to deal with weight – Again get fit, this means cut back 10% of the food you would normally eat and walk at a medium pace for 10 minutes 3 times a day or up/down 1 stair for 10 minutes 3 times a day. Once your metabolism kicks up you will find weight easier to lose and muscle will be easier to train up (again I am 40 pounds overweight and had terible advice that exercise is a waste of time in weight loss).

    As to “Invisible” – Once you feel more confident it is easier to meet woman (I am not an example on this as I have only ever lucked into relationships which peter out), try a catch phrase like Joey from Friends “Hooww yooo dooin'” (Google Joey friends greeting there’s more than just the words, there’s the whole tilt the head and nod action), it may be just enough of an ice breaker that your true humor and charm will then open the conversation.

  15. I mean worst case scenario, why not just pursue a passion? I’m really into making video games, and have a dream of making a revolutionary RPG. I would have no problems simply doing that for the rest of my life.

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