I mean what steps can I take if all I have done before was to isolate myself? I wish no socialization with past schoolmates or current colleagues. Even if I have been nice to them and told them jokes and all that, even if I read how-to books on socialization and practiced them, I feel nothing, like pressing the big red button and nothing happening? I mean what steps can I possibly take? I seem to be insensitive to schmoozing. There is also nothing I can say to them to get to better know each other. When I told some people some of my vulnerabilities like the good books are telling you, all I got was derision.
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“How can i change if i have a very negative view of people”. not all people are horrible….. its just that in school alot of them are. but not all, the friends part i cant help with
Join a community. I’d particularly suggest a community based around volunteering. Give yourself a lot of time and exposure to get used to people. Don’t expect the ultimate results to come quickly.