I am 28M. I go to this burrito place a few days a week and always talk with the girl behind the counter. Mostly small talk. Today she noticed I got a haircut and said “You look really nice”. We also make a lot of eye contact. I am thinking of asking her out for coffee or something tomorrow. Does the “you look nice” give me the green light to ask her?
If I do ask her, is going to the Panera across the street a good way to make some chit chat? I am single for a long time so I forget how to do this stuff.
Would pulling up to the restaurant at closing time and waiting for her to walk out to her be a good time to approach her? Or would it be too dark out and scary?
29 comments
Shoot your shot bro đź’Ş
I wouldn’t ask her out directly, that kinda puts her on the spot while she is working. If anything, give her your number on a piece of paper and tell her to reach out if she’s interested. If she doesn’t reach out, there’s your answer. And then don’t be a dick and don’t make things awkward.
Of course she’s nice. She’s working. It’s her job to be nice. And it’s pretty rude and creepy to ask someone out at their job.
Shit dude, how would we know, you get the green light when she says yes, seems like you have some green flags tho, send it
Don’t take her across the street last place togo
Quit being a wuss. Doesn’t matter where you take her. What matters is if she says YES.
Brother, for all that is holy, ask. What’s the worst that can happen? You have an awkward moment and remain single? I’m rooting for you bruh. Put yer balls on and do it.
Just leave your phone number on a receipt or something
I’d ask for her number, chat a bit, then invite her out. Not to Panera bread across the street LOL, something more different like ice cream.
I had a really good time chatting it up with a bartender at my favorite brewery. I consulted a friend who’s been in the industry a while and has even worked in fine dining FOH about the best way to approach someone in hospitality while they’re working. He said simply saying how you feel (in my case it was “hey I’ve had a lot of fun talking to you today”) and asking “may I leave my number with you?”
He turned out to be in a relationship, but he also gives me free beers now any time I’m there, even when I’m with dates.
Don’t do it. I used to work as a barista and got asked out by a couple regulars and it was extremely uncomfortable for me. After they asked me out I felt so bad when they would come in and get their drinks. Don’t do it. She’s being nice because it’s her job.
No, she’s being paid to be polite.
Why don’t you have a party and invite her. Less awkward. Also party.
don’t ask her out unless you’re willing to find a completely new place to go. having to awkwardly decline or feeling pressured to say yes and then seeing you every day sounds awful
Dude, you got a haircut and she told you it looks nice. She sees you on a daily basis. It doesn’t mean she likes you. It just means she likes your haircut. Leave her alone. She’s working.
Do it. Just understand she might be being polite because it’s her job but what have you got to lose?
YESSSSS! Do it! Omg, nothing makes me happier than to encourage good signs.
Honestly, not telling you what to do, but seeing a familiar face in a work environment is kinda nice.
I can’t tell you how to do it, but eye contact is BIG in dating. If she somehow gave you the feeling that she thought you were ugly, then no, but she said you looked nice (as in your appearance is handsome to her) so go for it!
Say something like “I’d like to hang out with you sometime, if you’re interested here’s my number. if not, no hard feelings.” it takes the pressure off of her having to give you an answer right then and there, but also clearly lets her know you’re interested. but you also have to actually not take it harshly if she doesn’t text you and don’t be awkward going forward
Absolutely do NOT wait outside for her to leave at the end of her shift, that is scary vibes and I would be getting an escort to my car from my supervisor if anyone did that to me.
other comments seem to have everything else covered, but it would be terrifying if you waited outside for her after close. we’ve heard lots of scary stories of women being harassed or even killed by customers waiting for them after their shifts, so i would genuinely and fully panic if a man was waiting outside of my job for me. especially at night. never know what they’re planning, you know? obviously, the fact that you’re aware it could be scary shows that’s not your game plan, but it’s still a bad idea.
imo asking someone out while they’re working is usually unfair because they’re cornered, but other commenters have pointed out good ideas. just don’t wait for her outside – that’ll scare her.
I say just ask her in a respectful way and if she says no say no problem a guys gotta shoot his shot no big deal.
Omg don’t wait for her to leave work and then approach her. Your intentions might be chill but she doesn’t know that and it could scare her (it would scare me). Someone else suggested giving her your number and then leaving the ball in her court.. no pressure kinda thing. That’s the best way to go about this.
You have a chance with any non-related adult.
Shoot your shot man worst thing she’ll do is say no. Be confident, calm, put on a friendly smile and have fun with it. She’s just a girl man.
But as far as waiting for her to finish her shift, don’t cause if it’s dark out and you are lingering it will give stalker vibes. Start the conversation and work your way from there, but for a first date do a restaurant that’s not across the street from where she works cause she probably isn’t about having work in her line of view, or ask her to something like bowling where you guys get to play a game and just break tension.
Just relax and don’t overthink. Getting out of your own way will be the best approach and less is more with some things. Good luck man.
She is working, she is being nice because it’s her job lol. I see a lot of people here saying you should go for it. Imagine being a cute girl and you’re just always nice to customers because it’s your job, and 50% of the time the guys think its personal so you get asked out regularly and have to turn them down? Yeah, for that guy it’s just a one time thing, but the girl keeps feeling like shit because it’s not just one guy, but many…
Honestly don’t haha. As someone who has worked in food service or retail my whole life. We notice things about regulars and especially if we’re taking tips we’re paid to be nice/complimentary and keep people returning. So most likely she noticed because it’s part of her job to be nice and you’re a regular.
Also never go to a woman’s job and wait at the end of her shift. That is so scary and comes across as serial killer/stalker vive
You’re 28 and wondering if you should wait after when she leaves work..when you aren’t dating and had eye contact and nice conversations..I wonder how you are at a bar. You know where its their job to be friendly..for tips.
Just don’t. Fucking leave people alone at work.
Do NOT:
-Wait outside her work.
-Take her across the street.
Do:
-Ask her out the next time you see her, or just give her your number if you’re worried about putting her on the spot at work.
-Take her somewhere comfortable and nice (not fancy), that isn’t nearby her work.