TDLR: We used to do it a lot, but he’s suddenly showing little interest in it.
Boyfriend’s decreasing interest in sex
Hey guys!
My boyfriend (33 M) and I (26 F) have been seeing each other since December. For the first three months, it was casual and in March, I decided to start seeing him exclusively. From December to early September, things were fantastic sexually (given my previous issues with vaginismus, we started having penetrative sex only in June, but even before that, we had a lot of non-penetrative action). He was always intiating and we had loads of fun. I love walking around the house in lingerie to get him going and for the last couple of months, he really loved it. In fact, he did mention in the passing once or twice that he’s never been with anyone as pretty/sexually adventurous (his words, not mine). I know for a fact that he finds me really attractive, as have all my previous partners. For the most part, I’ve never really been in a relationship where my partner and I didn’t want it on a fairly regular basis. That was the case for this one too. However, over the last two weeks, things have slowed down considerably. He’s suddenly showing a decreased interest in sex and things aren’t as exciting anymore. In fact, I wore some lingerie just a few days back and he asked me to get dressed, which is really weird. Previously, he’d never done anything like that. I obviously don’t want to come across as pushy or disrespect his boundaries, but this is worrying me a little. I do know he’s been having particularly busy work weeks and I’m hoping this is a temporary dry spell owing to that, but I can’t help but overanalyse things. Any advice?
5 comments
Have you talked with him about it?
>I do know he’s been having particularly busy work weeks and I’m hoping this is a temporary dry spell owing to that
Yes, work stress and exhaustion can lead to a decrease in libido.
Stop personalizing this and trying to seduce him because that’s just putting more pressure on him when he doesn’t have the energy.
Two weeks is such a short amount of time, and if he’s too sleepy to even talk then I think it’s safe to assume he’s too sleepy to have sex. I’d ask him some open ended questions about how he’s feeling, and then maybe wait until the weekend or a day off to talk more about it?
Honestly, maybe you should shift a bit into the helping caring mode if there is that level of stress that it seems, maybe help with some of the smaller errands on his side so he can sleep a bit more, maybe help get him a quick meal or something so he doesn’t need to worry about the time for that, small stuff like that
The problem is you. Why does the guy always have to be at your feet begging for it?
I have said it for years, no matter how hot she is there is a guy standing behind her completely sick of her shit.
How hard would it be for you to initiate sex by putting more effort in than just wearing some clothes you enjoy wearing? Be the one to initiate it, cuddle on the couch and get him turned on physically.