Self explanatory really. Mainly think about the more subtle things.

39 comments

  1. I have these things called words i can say, the best way is to ask this question

    ‘how you finding it, fancy another date?’

  3. Social awareness. Comes with experience. Read her body language well and lead the date and that will tell you most of what you need to know

  4. I try to gauge it on how long either one of us sit there after a meal and just talk. If we barely finish dinner and either she or me is ready to leave then it didn’t go well.

  6. Watch her body language and when you ask her questions if the answer is a story and not some short dead end answer that’s really good.

  7. I generally don’t form first impressions. They might come off as pissy but they could just be having a bad day. I have gone out with someone a second or third time before I figure out that it must be them.

    I don’t both to guess how things are going. I don’t expect anything from a date either. Like I don’t expect a second date nor do I expect to kiss her or anything.

    I have had some women sleep with me on the first date. I don’t ever think anything less of them. I consider myself fortunate that they felt comfortable being with/around me to allow it. I certainly don’t think that it is a given after the first time. She might have just been in a mood.

  8. Truth be told is you can’t always read people. Some people are naturally shy and awkward so your sense of their displeasure may be really just them trying to adapt to a new situation.

    I think the best way to tell is how she responds to a second date. If there are a lot of excuses or denial then thats a pretty good indicator.

  10. ask around 5 questions. Make sure that they are more than yes or no questions. Like what is your favorite movie etc… See how many of the 5 she asks well what about you? See if she also wants to know your favorite things or answer to the questions.

  11. Her body language is key. Is she facing towards you, is her body relaxed (no crossed arms), is she making deep eye contact, is she laughing, is she playing with her hair, is she subtly touching your arm or leg.

    All of these are very positive signs.

    Also her asking you questions and keeping conversations naturally going is very positive. If she’s just answering questions and not inquiring about you, then she’s not feeling you.

  12. Compliments(“you have big arms”), cuddling, hooking up, she’s reacting positive when I’m physically touching her(feeling tattoos), she’s finding ways to touch you during the conversation, and overall just her body language during the date.

    On the first date I don’t go into interview mode. There’s no list of questions or topics that I plan to talk about pre date. I feel things out during the date and go from there. Ultimately I don’t care if there’s a second date. If she likes me cool, but if not that’s fine as well. I don’t worry about things that are out of my control.

  13. Is the conversation effortless and meaningful? Do you loose track of time? Is there a gradual buildup of mutually reciprocated intimacy?

  14. During: eye contact, engaged conversation and some light banter/teasing. Some touching of my on my arm or hands or shoulders or chest when we walk around or stand at a bar etc

    End: literally tell her how i felt the date went and ask her what she thought point blank.

  15. You’re good if she goes to the bathroom and comes back instead of running through the parking lot.

  17. I don’t. I go in with a mindset to have as great a time as possible

    Afterwards I reflect on it and determine if I actually want to see her again or it was just a fun evening

  18. I reserve judgment until I’m sure she wants to see me again on a second or third date. First dates don’t mean shit for the most part anyway.

  19. Body language and conversation.

    Is she fully turned towards you? Is she laughing a lot? Is she looking you in the eye? Does she seem engaged in the conversation? Is she asking you things and volunteering info about herself?

    If all of the above you’re doing good buddy.

    Of course you never know for sure until you ask for that second date.

  20. If she’s talking a lot, smiling, and making eye contact she’s into you. Body language is a tell too. If she is leaned towards you, instead of away, then she’s into you.

    Funny story: I thought my wife hated me on our first date because she was hard to read. Here we are with a kid and a house now.

    You never really know, but those are some signs to look for.

  22. How’s the conversation going? Is she laughing with me more than at me? What’s her body language telling me?

  23. Body language is a good start. If she’s close to you then things are likely going well. If she’s sitting back in her chair and far from you, maybe not.

    Verbal communication is a good indicator. Are you having a flowing conversation or are you struggling to find new topics to discuss?

    All are indicators.

  24. Body language, she’s the one initiating touching, she doesn’t pull away when I reciprocate, she asks in-depth questions about me, she’s doing 70% of the talking, eye contact solely focused on me, etc.

    I had a girl initiate and go in for the first kiss during a first date. (We had built a solid connection for months, prior to the first date) Caught me off guard. But def made sure I was all over her and in it after the second date.

  25. Does the conversation flows? Or I have to keep coming up with things to ask? Are all her answers single sillable words?

  26. I would relax, first of all. If you’re sitting there watching her for signs and behavior, you’re gonna look like a major creep, because you are.

    So if you are both just talking and laughing, that’s all you really need to look for.

  27. I… uhm… Now that you asked… I never thought about that, just tried to have a good time because I figured if I have a good time she would be likely to have a good time too!

    I am so stupid…

  28. She is relaxed, she smiles and laughs easily, she isn’t physically withdrawn she makes eye contact, she talks freely and listens with attention. She’s invested in the date, not just a passive party to it

  29. well first and foremost, if she agreed to a date I already know she’s interested. I typically do a coffee shop date, walk, maybe a light lunch, early dinner thing. I can see if she’s interested by how the conversation is going, if she leans in to talk, eye contact, etc.

  30. Talking, laughing, smiling, touching, if she’s doing all of these things then she’s interested.

  32. She couldn’t stop smiling at me and carried the conversation despite my awkward introverted self. So I married her.

  33. Am woman – here’s what I do when I’m gaga over some guy: physical contact (will find dumb reasons to touch him like say if I need to get up from the table, will gently put my hand on his arm as I get up), lots of laughs (the ones that slip right out not the ol’ “hehe yeah” that you use with coworkers), asking all kinds of follow-ups to keep conversations going

  36. 1) does she laugh at my jokes
    2) does she take her time on the menu trying to find something tasty and cheap
    3) does she catch glances of me
    4) does she pay attention to the things I say
    5) can she maintain eye contact (if not then good it means that either she hiding sth which, it’s first date she don’t have nothing to hide, or b she likes you)
    6) is she willing to open up to her interests
    7) is she willing to let me talk about mine
    8) does she crack jokes with you
    9) does she check her phone all the time for msg, if yes, even though she might not be talking to guys she prolly isn’t interested

  37. I think we all have the capacity to know if things are going well in a conversation with a man or woman. If you don’t know that, learn it as a baseline social skill and emotional intelligence because knowing a woman is interested on a first date will mostly fall in line with that. The additional problem on a first date is cutting through the dishonest response signals if/when she is uncomfortable. I’d suggest working on knowing what the discomfort signals are, and fake laughter and smiles. Be attentive and distinguish if it’s you or if it’s general anxiety — it’s usually the latter unless you showed up severely ungroomed or looking different than whatever you presented prior. If you’re getting those signal early on — and you should expect it during the first 5 minutes of meeting if you didn’t chat a bunch over voice or video — then take the first several minutes of your interaction quite easy. Talk about things you’ve texted about, don’t try to ask anything too revealing but when she does share something new and small, react appropriately and expressively to it.

    I also suggest a multi-phase first date. Don’t just sit at one restaurant or bar. Get up and walk around. Go to another place for dessert. A change of venue and movement overall helps the mood, and also acts as a logical filter out if you’ve picked up a bit of a down mood that it was or was not because her drink was bad, her food was undercooked, or she really dislikes the waiter. If she seems disengaged through two activities, then it’s a stronger signal she isn’t into you.

    Personally, I think a lot of the advice that says she’s into you could also be her being into the interaction. Women can be very difficult to read and they don’t always make it obvious when they’re very interested in you. At least when I’ve presented my genuine self, I’m sure I’ve interacted with women that I can say for sure liked interacting with me, but weren’t into me. An attempted hug or kiss is how I would sort the difference out if I didn’t already know. Any/all dates where I’ve heard something like “I don’t hug/kiss on the first date” is someone who was not into me. I can’t think of a time I heard that, and she actually cooperated and agreed to a second date even if we had very engaging conversation and I’m sure she’s comfortable with me. Assuming she is comfortable with me, these situations resolve themselves by my pursuit of another date and she responds with clear communication that she’s not into me (frequently some other excuse).

    The one signal that you should pretty much take unambiguously as interest is if a woman is trying to get you to agree to or presuming a future date. Be very confident after that — not cocky. Don’t invite her to your place afterwards if you aren’t already there. In the same vein that anticipating a future date is clear interest, it also signals she wants a continuance and you shouldn’t get impatient.

  38. If she laughs at a lot of the things you say, that’s always a good sign. Leaning in and light touches are good too.

    Another more off key thing: if a small, inside joke happens that night, and you both playfully make references to it throughout the night and afterwards via text, it’s a small, shared moment that doesn’t really happen unless there’s a spark.

    Maybe I’m a sucker for humor but the best dates I’ve had involves laughing.

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