I (19f) have been in a relationship my boyfriend (22f) from the past 11 months. I live with my parents and belong to a rather conservative culture. He however has been living independently from a young age.
He drinks and parties occassionally though, during his teenage years he had suffered from alcohol addiction. The part where I am unable to judge whether I am being reasonable or not is, being uncomfortable when he goes out partying and has sleepovers at his friend’s house. Usually, both girls and guys are involved here. I brought this up to him and he told me, he doesn’t get really drunk and barely gets high anymore so he’s conscious of what he’s doing. He also goes for sleepovers in general, where his friends do drugs but he says he avoids them at all cost. I have very little exposure to this lifestyle and thus feel I may just be overthinking it all. I have put forward my concerns to him and he obviously eventually felt that I was being controlling and possesive.
Tl;Dr! – My boyfriend frequently does sleepovers after partying with his friends. I am trying to judge whether my concerns are valid or not.
3 comments
I think you’re just not compatible and with a sprinkle of I sense he isn’t being very honest. People don’t just casually hang out with others while they’re doing drugs and stay sober. Hell, if I was ever around People and they whipped out some drugs I’d immediately be like “oooookay I’m out. Have fun.”
I would search for a more conservative person.
I mean it is highly doubtful a former teenage alcoholic is sleeping over at parties with everyone partying, doing drugs and getting drunk while they slowly sip a beer or two then call it a night.
It sounds like standard stuff from an addict minimizing their addiction.
RE: Am I being paranoid and jealous ?
Yes – but more to the point you are suffering with low/inadequate self worth and self respect so, much of what he is doing THREATENS you & triggers your insecurities and lack of confidence which will cause you to act “controlling & possessive”….which all comes from deep INSECURITY about your own WORTH. This is easily fixed so, google: self worth, self respect and confidence and go to work FIXING yours ASAP.