*UPDATE* -asked her to get food and she said she had plans. I’m taking that as a sign that we’re done. Thx for the comments:)

A girl invited me over to watch a movie because her roommates weren’t home. I’m pretty sure she didn’t invite me over just to watch a movie because she was dropping all kinds of hints.

(If curious here’s a few)
– Laughed at basically everything I said
– Asked me to change into some of her clothes because she said I didn’t look comfortable and watched me the whole time
– While watching the movie she put my arm around her and she put her head on her chest
– while cuddling she was putting her feet on mine and was jokingly kicking me

At one point I asked her if I could kiss her after many minutes of breaking the touch barrier. But she didn’t respond the way I was expecting her to. She asked “what” in a kind of tired/irritated tone so I took that as a “no” and didn’t try anything else. When I left though, she seemed kind of disappointed but excited to see me again.

The next few days we were texting back and forth but she gradually started leaving me on read and turned down every offer to do something I offered her.

Did I do something wrong? Should I have repeated the “can I kiss you” question? Should I keep trying? Why did she drop so many hints but essentially say “no” when I asked if I could kiss her

Tomorrow I’m planning on trying one of these options and will be moving on if these fail.

1. Ask if she wants to get some dinner (last-ditch attempt)- if no, ask question 2

2. Ask her what she wanted out of inviting me in the first place (or something similar/less aggressive)

3. Tell her I had a good time that night when she invited me over and if we could do it again sometime. (Add into #1 if it goes well)

I’ve got a longer, more detailed summary in my profile, posted in r/nostupidquestions.

—I’ve also still got the booty shorts she lent to me. How do I go about returning them?—

13 comments

  1. 3. Is probably best, in guessing she felt you were too timid after basically opening the door for you and she got turned off. 2. Is the worst option, based how she responded to you not taking the initiative (even though she basically took the initiative) you asking that will probably ensure you never hear from her again. If she’s already started turning down your attempts to meet up then you may have to leave it

  2. Yup, you fucked up.

    When you’re already that close, asking if you can kiss is kind of weak/desperate. She was looking for you to make that move.

  3. > At one point I asked her if I could kiss her after many minutes of breaking the touch barrier. But she didn’t respond the way I was expecting her to. She asked “what” in a kind of tired/irritated tone so I took that as a “no” and didn’t try anything else.

    is it possible she actually didn’t hear what you said and you’re overthinking all of this?

  4. I would start running if she puts her head on her chest.

    But in all seriousness, you have to learn how to flirt or make a move. Sounds like she pulled all the weight and literally moved your arm around her and made you undress/ change in front of her and even after all that she gets no reaction out of you.

  8. Man, so many people are confused about consent. You don’t have to ask the chick if you can kiss her. If the mood is right, just lean in and go for it. If she reciprocates, theres your consent. If she pushes away, respect that and don’t keep trying. Pretty simple stuff.

  9. “A girl invited me over to watch a movie because her roommates weren’t home. I’m pretty sure she didn’t invite me over just to watch a movie because she was dropping all kinds of hints.”

    “I asked her if I could kiss her after many minutes of breaking the touch barrier. But she didn’t respond the way I was expecting her to. She asked “what” in a kind of tired/irritated tone…”

    “The next few days we were texting back and forth but she gradually started leaving me on read and turned down every offer to do something I offered her.”

    Sounds like you blew it with her. Asking for a kiss is not viewed as *romantic* with some girls.

    From her point of view, she set up this alone time date, asked you to change out of your clothes, played footsy with you, and rested her head on your chest. All you needed to do was kiss her. When you *asked for permission* to kiss her you *killed* the mood!

    She was likely frustrated after doing 90% of the work you were asking her for more effort.

    You have to do a better job of *learning to “read the room”* and *interpreting body language*.

    If a girl is *rubbing her body on you and laying her head on your chest*, she’s fine with being kissed.

    The only other alternative is she sees you as being one of the girls or *platonic* male friend. Not many girls would suggest a man put on their “booty shorts” for any reason.

    As for the “booty shorts” I would mail/ship them to her with possibly a thank you card and note. You can mention you had a great time and hope the two of you get together again.

    The ball is now in her court and if she wants to contact you, she will do so.

    In the meantime, don’t sit around staring at your phone. Meet and date some other girls!

    ***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.***” – Henry Cloud

    Best wishes!

  11. Yeah, you fucked this one up…she was dropping daisy cutter bombs of willingness, you were slow to act, and asking for the kiss in this situation probably turned her off.

    Let it go, no contact.

    She’s off the line, don’t be needy/desperate.

    Move. The. Fuck. On.

    Learn from this.

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