My boyfriend (23) and I (22) have dated for about four years. 2 where we have been on and off. He used to go to the club every Friday and Saturday nights, spend most of his money and talk to a lot of people. Last year, I decided I wanted better for myself so i decided to call it quit, and him and his family begged me to give him my one last chance so i did. I can tell that he is really trying, he listens more to me, he notices my change of mood, he wants to be around me all the time, he stopped talking all together to other girls and stopped going to the club. He also started to unlearn his bad habits and learn better ones. I am appreciative of all of that. The problem is he can’t keep a job for long, i work in the medical field and i always make sure i have some type of income. He used to have a car that he was financing and a job where he would get commissions. He made a lot of money for doing basically nothing. I told him to pay off his car since he had the money and no bills (lives with his parents) and he told me he can’t pay it off entirely because they wouldn’t accept it. When he quit his job because they stopped paying him, he kept going to the club and spent all of the money. He couldn’t pay his car so they took it. While he was jobless and moneyless, i didn’t mind spending my money on him, even when I always ended up flat broke and have my credit card on 0. I was saving to buy my own car and before he would drop me off to work from time to time but i would mostly take the bus. I have no problem with that. My brother lend me $3000 to complete it so i can buy my car and When i finally did, i also found him a job. but because of our different schedule, i proposed to drop him in the morning and he could take the bus later, but he got mad because I wouldn’t give him my car. He also said he didn’t know and didn’t want to know how to take the bus. I called him spoiled and left so he could figure out how to get back to his own house. I have a few bills, i haven’t finished paying my brother yet and i also have my credit card to pay, i am always transparent about it and he knows about it all. Being on debt gives me anxiety. I recently decided to do uber eats to see if i can pay all of it. Two days doing it and he asked me to share the money and to pay for his uber coming back home. I told him to ask his mom and he responded that she doesn’t have money. This man knows my bank account is at 0 and my credit card too. Am i overreacting for wanting to break up and cut total contacts?

5 comments
  1. NO! His family dumped him on you because they were tired of giving him money and him wasting it.

    You can’t fix this. All you can do is make sure NOBODY he knows gives him ANY money. He has been surrounded with enablers all his life. He needs someone to stand up to him and keep telling him “NO” But that is a lot of work and I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to do it.

  2. Nope. This man is an absolute financial burden on you. And he will pull you under and you will drown together if you let him. I mean hell, he couldn’t even find his own job. If you keep enabling him I doubt he’ll get any better.

    He needs to learn financial literacy the hard way. Don’t shoot your self in the foot trying to be nice.

    Good Luck 🖤

  3. You don’t owe this man anything, not your money, not your car, not your time or attention. He needs to be an adult and take care of his own stuff. Right now, he’s not doing that. He didn’t even find his own job. He doesn’t have his own place. He expects his parents and you to finance his life. This guy is not relationship material. He may be relationship material one day, but right now, he isn’t taking care of himself, and he needs to grow up.

    You are not overreacting. Not at all.

  4. You don’t owe him anything and he’s just using you, if he wanted to keep his job he would have, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. I would move on.

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